When We Were Young

7.

LIAM POV

I wasn't offended when Louis declined my offer for an adequate tour of the school. I was surprised at the initial hurt I had felt after he dismissed me so quickly and so cooly. That's the demeanor I wanted to appear to have and now I've gone off and ruined that before I even had the chance to start it. 

The rest of the day didn't get any easier. I was left more on the edge of my seat, waiting for something to happen, skittish almost. By the time lunch had come around, I had already missed the first part of it, too caught up in my own actions of the day. 

"So Liam, we just heard from Louis that you two know each other. What a coincidence that you both ended up at this school then!" Rosie Evans stated. 

She is a nice woman, but always tries to please those around her and it the first to know all the gossip. It's not a terrible thing, but I always get tired of the gossip at some point. Doesn't she ever get enough of it too?

I set my sandwich down at the mention of us knowing each other and looked at the culprit. His blue eyes were pleading with me, convincing me that it was just that he didn't know whether he was supposed to mention it or not. Damn those eyes. They could always get what they wanted form me. I turned away before anything further could go on.

"We do in fact. Louis and I attend the same school for a few months before uni." I cleared my throat a few times, trying not to think too into about what I was saying or where this would lead the conversation. 

"I was sent to live with my uncle for the remainder of my schooling but returned home after some months due to my family being involved in an accident." Louis explained further.

The three ladies continued to talk over us about growing up with the same kids and knowing them their whole lives. The stories they shared easily reached my ears, and I nodded every once in a while but I wasn't listening, not fully. 

There was no need for him to add that comment to clarify that our encounter was cut short. I could have added something along the lines that we had some classes together and some mutual friends, but that would be it. He would just be some kid I went to school with for some time. I shouldn't be upset for him adding that though. It was very personal to share for having been here so short a time. Part of my wants to think he made that comment for me as a sort of explanation. That's not possible though. He wouldn't do such a thing. He just must be more open now. 

What a thing to be. 

The bell signaling lunch was over took me out of my trance. I quickly packed my half eaten lunch away, knowing I would regret that in an hour. Carroll stood and waited for me to finish packing before we made our way out to make room for the second wave of students who were heading to eat. She said her goodbye as we reached her hallway with a promise to catch me at bus duty later before she left for the day. 

I walked the rest of the way to my classroom, pausing for a moment to look in the Drama room. Louis sat on top of his desk, using it more as furniture than its functional use. He had a book in his hands and looked to be reading to his students. My heart felt heavy standing there, longing for the feelings I used to have. 

I wiped the hair off my forehead before making my way in, closing the door behind me. Twenty-four new expecting faced stared back at me. I turned and grabbed an Expo marker, starting the lesson for that class. The rest of the day was a blur of expo marker stains on my hand and questions. 

I was exhausted from standing by the time the final bell rang, dismissing my last class. Half rushed to pack their things before leaving, the other half sticking around to finish the notes from the board or to say goodbye. When the last student left, I grabbed by keys and a radio, locked the door and made my way over to Louis' room.

"Make sure you have your classroom keys with you. It's important to lock your classroom door and to make sure you can get back into the building depending on when the last bus departs." He looked around for a moment before pulling up a pair of sliver keys triumphantly. 

I waited as he locked the door before making my way down the hall. Neither of us tried to converse as we weaved our way through the students. I looked back a few times to make sure he was still with me, these halls could get a little rambunctious when it came time to the end of the day, especially on Friday's. He looked distraught trying to keep up which caused me to slow my stride. 

As we got closer to the bus area, I began to explain what our positions did. It was very simple, we stand there make sure all the busses come and get students from this school. If a student misses the bus, we help them coordinate how they are getting home. We help make sure the busses also get here on time and leave on time to go get their other students and to make sure all the students get off the busses and none return here at 4:30-5:00.

"Why do you have a radio and I don't?" He asked.

"The radio are for those who are in lead positions. It's generally given to those who are most frequently in this position. I'm sure if you like this and help long enough that you'll get one too," I sincerely replied. He nodded his head before heading over to his section.

I walked over to mine and looked around. This position wasn't so bad. I get to see some of my students, fewer of which talk to me. Not much generally happens when you stand out here. There have been a few times where we have broken up a fight or a bus has turned back around, but overall, it's easy. 

Carroll strolled by half an hour into the shift. Most of the busses had come and about one-fifth of the students remained waiting to go home. She pulled out a granola bar and handed it me. I had never been more grateful for a snack. After not finishing my lunch, my stomach growled probably every half our, angry at me for being so empty. I happily accepted the bar and she started talking. 

"I remember you telling me once that you weren't fond of your high school days, or the equivalent of these days for you. I also recall you saying that's when you did that to yourself." She pointed to my hand very subtly. 

I didn't need her to point to know what she was talking about. I glanced down at my hand, taking in the pale scars that crossed my hand. I extended my fingers before coving that one with my other. Punching a mirror wasn't my smartest choice, but you always do things in the moment to make yourself feel better. 

"No, I didn't have the best of time then, but it all worked out the way it did for a reason. Besides, scars serve as a reminder that we went through something."

"One day, I hope you will share that troubling part of your life. Maybe Louis might be able to help as he is closer to your age, it might be more understandable to him. I do not wish to pry into your life without you wanting to open though. "

"You have no idea how much he will understand," I whispered as she walked away. My fingertips ran over my knuckles, each protrusion reminding me of the day a few years ago. I glanced up at Louis and wished I knew why.

Why he had only left me with a two sentence letter given to me by his uncle. Why all my friend knew and I didn't. Why he did it if the first place. Why he didn't love me.