Louis is full of secrets.
He doesn't fully lie, or at least he tries not to, but he has this two inch layer of bulletproof glass around his past.
It drives Harry mad. He's understanding, he is. He gets it -- Louis has had a shitty few years, a lonely few years. Harry gets that and he wants to do all he can to make up for that, to make Louis feel loved and safe and cared for, but.
Sue him, he's fucking curious, alright?
*
Harry lets himself into Zayn and Louis's apartment on Sunday evening. He kicks the door closed behind him and calls, "I come bearing gifts!"
There's some quiet murmuring coming from the living room and Harry's eyebrows pull together. He quickly drops the grocery bags off in the kitchen and heads in. Zayn and Louis are wrapped around each other on the couch. Well, Louis is curled up into Zayn, his head pressed into Zayn's collarbones, and Zayn's fingers are combing through Louis's hair, arms wound tightly around him.
Harry stops in the doorway.
See, it's like, Harry knows how Louis and Zayn are. Has known how Louis and Zayn are since the first day he met Louis. It freaked him out at first, honestly. It freaked him out how well they know each other, how close they are, how much of a claim Zayn has staked on Louis. It freaks him out how dependent Louis is on Zayn.
There's no real jealousy there. At least, Harry doesn't think he's jealous. Zayn's been there for Louis through the worst shit Harry can imagine and Harry's incredibly grateful to him for that. It's just. Sometimes Harry wants to be the one Louis comes to. Sometimes Harry wants to hold Louis through his insecurities, through his issues. Sometimes Harry wishes he didn't walk in halfway through the movie and feel like an intruder.
Hesitantly, he says, "What's up?"
Zayn cranes his neck to look back at Harry. "Hey, mate," he says quietly. He jerks his head in an obvious come here gesture, and Harry bites his lip but comes. As he gets in front of the couch, he notices Louis is asleep, but his eyes are red, his face puffy.
"Hey, Lou," he whispers, kneeling down, brushing his thumb over Louis's cheekbone.
Louis's eyelashes flutter and he blearily cracks his eyes open. He sees Harry and immediately smiles, struggles to sit up. His hands scrub at his face and fix his hair hurriedly. "Hazza!" he says brightly.
Harry glances at Zayn, sees Zayn roll his eyes. "Lou, I'm going to Liam's tonight. I'll see you at work tomorrow, yeah?"
Louis turns quickly to Zayn and there's communication there, with just that fucking look. Harry looks away, down at the floor. He hears Zayn sigh heavily and untangle himself from Louis.
"Have a good night, lads," Zayn says as he leaves the room.
"See you, mate," Harry says after him, willing Zayn to turn around and tell him what the fuck is going on. God knows Louis won't.
Louis pulls him onto the couch. "I missed you," he says as he presses kisses to Harry's face.
"Missed you too, Lou. Are you okay?" Harry tries to arrange himself so Louis's elbow isn't on his balls and his ass isn't hanging off the cushion.
Louis waits patiently for Harry to get comfortable before sprawling on top of him. "Most excellent, babe. Just pining for your body whenever it's not touching mine. What should we do tonight? Drink? Fuck? Watch a movie? Body shots while watching a movie?"
Harry bites his lip and glances away. "Lou, come on, what's up? Is everything alright?"
"What are you talking about?" Louis widens his eyes before grabbing Harry's hand and playing with his fingers.
