The War at Home | Adult F/F Romance [COMPLETE]

Part IX (new)

Between hearty gulps, Jordie tucked into Romana's remarkably shepherd's pie. "Are you in the market for a new spouse, by any chance? You'll have them lining up for a plate of this."

"I might be out of the marriage game forever after this is settled. I don't know that I'm meant to share my life with someone. I can't seem to get it right."

"That doesn't mean you ought to give up. There's bound to be someone out there who's good for you."

"I keep thinking that. Sometimes I even think I've met them. In the end it's only wishful thinking. You can't build a life on that, can you?"

"I'm thinking of leaving Elliot," Jordie blurted out.

Romana blinked. "What?"

"I...don't want this. I don't want to be ordered about like an underling. I..."

Romana blotted her lips, leaving lipstick marks on her napkin. "I sensed you were unhappy but leaving him? That's an entirely different story. What's brought this on?"

"Misery. Loneliness. Heartache. Take your pick." She raised her shoulders in a childish shrug and stood to clear her plate. She and Romana proceeded to start the process of washing up. Jordie's usually immense appetite had abandoned them. "I don't remember him being so cruel when we married. It wasn't a proper love match, but I did love him once. I don't feel like I recognize him anymore." Herself, she recognized more readily. "And I'm not anything like I used to be."

"Who are you is glorious, and I've no reason to lie, so believe me." Romana took her drying flannel from her. "You're marvelous and enchanting, Jordana Freemantle. You're astounding, in and out of theater."

"How do you know?"

"People talk. Surgeons tattle. Nobody can stop talking about you."

"Even you?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," Romana evaded. Jordana would. In another life where the cost of asking the question weren't everything, she might ask.

"I'm not anything like that. Not astounding or marvelous, enchanting." She was afraid every day of her life. She was only surprised when others couldn't see it.

"You will be," Romana assured her. "I should only be so privileged to operate with you one day, and watch you save a life."

Jordie's throat smarted at the reminder of what all they had in common. Her heart was trying to crawl out of its cavity to reveal what Jordie wasn't brave enough to confess.

"I shouldn't have ignored you that day at the park, or anywhere else. What people say about you is none of my concern. You're what I care about."

Romana returned to the washing. Jordie didn't trust it when she couldn't see her face. "Don't go on, Jordie. You'll make me blush. We'll both be sick if that happens."

"During our first conversation, you talked about seeing Christmas display at Selfridges as a little girl. You always take Madeline to see it because it's tradition. It's due to go up any day now. Did you want to see it this year, with me?"

"I don't know that that's a good idea. No, not this year. I'll see it another year. It's a long trip."

"It might not feel so long if we go together. We could take the train with the children the week before Christmas, make a day of it. They'll get to visit London and we'll make up for lost time."

"There's nothing to make up for."

"I'm not Edgar, Romana. You don't have to pretend I haven't done anything wrong."

"It's too much." Not if it's you.

"It's Christmas. Think of it as a shopping excursion. We can shop for, for Elliot, and the children, whoever else you want."

"I'm not looking to make matters difficult for you, with your friends."

"You're my friend, Romana. If things are hard, it isn't your fault. Marriage is hard."

"Don't I know it."

"You'd be doing me a favor, getting me out the house. Elliot is fit to be tied lately."

"You drive a hard bargain, Captain. You have yourself a deal."

They shook on it. Jordie forced herself to break the contact. Romana's hand fit too securely with her own. Nothing about that was fair.

"It's a date, then."

"Don't get my hopes up. I haven't had a proper date since before the War broke out."

They laughed. They laughed some more over wine and raspberry jam tarts. Romana was jam-smeared beauty on the opposite side of the breakfast table, giggling up a storm in a wineglass with a Merlot-stained smile. Brighter than any Christmas angel shining atop a tree. Jordie loved her far too much. She was positive it would undo her, yet here she was to be undone.

Romana drew a ringing circle round the rim of her wineglass in the lull that fell once they'd nibbled to their stomachs' delights.

"Jordie, promise me something."

"Almost anything."

"Don't leave me again?" Romana averted her eyes from Jordie's to scrape at the grain of the table. "When you wouldn't speak to me, I felt like I hadn't a friend in the world. I know what that is, I don't want to go back there."

"It's a horrible, lonely feeling. I know it. I won't leave, Romana. You'll have me forever, from now on."

Jordie's word was her bond. From that day forward, they were inseparable.