Break-up

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"Im Moving To LA!"
my eyes attach to the title. you don't know how excited i am for him to move here. i don't want him to think he's pressured into anything, even though he signed up to move here.

i watch the video over and over again. i love the way he speaks, his characteristics, his camera chemistry, its amazing. his goofiness, he seems so pure. the last time i saw him he did a backflip at one of my shows in Seattle. it took me a while to get the courage to actually get in contact with him. i dont know why i was so hesitant, he seems like a good friend. just a friend. a really close, good, cute friend. cute? i wouldnt say hes cute. i dont feel that way about him.

"Mark? Can I talk to you?"

Amy shouts at me across the house. i walk to our room where shes sitting down on the foot of our bed, biting her nails anxiously.

"whats up?"
i was worried at this point.

"I think I've lost feelings, mark." she says, tears in her eyes.

my heart drops, my head starts pounding. i start jumping to conclusions. i look at her confused.

"I'm so sorry. ill leave for the airport tomorrow"

"It's okay Amy. i wish you the best life." i say, hurt. i love Amy so much. was it my fault she lost feelings? i feel like a terrible boyfriend. i cant believe this. i thought she was happy with me.

i look at our picture on our bedside table. what did i do to deserve this?

Amy walks out of the room and i sit on the foot of the bed, warm where she was previously sitting. I'm gonna miss her, i thought. i cant do this. this is way to much to handle. i don't want Ethan to see me like this. i have way too much to set up this week. this couldn't have happened at a different time, could it? of course not, everything just fucks up at the last minute.

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