too old too young~~~

where are you?

[1963]

I sat on one end of the bed as my body felt heavier than ever. I wondered how the bed was even holding me. But what was so heavy?

So many emotions howled inside my body- twirled in tornados then settled but again began fighting. The next moment, my room felt completely empty. Within, I was a destruction and without I was nothing but dead silent. The silence scared me. Before I felt my emotions take over my outer space and turn into anonymous bodies and start to haunt me, I grabbed the headphones and began listening to a song. Volume :full

How could your picture make me feel so? One by one each emotion creates the other as you began healing me to me becoming heartless.

I noticed the pillows at the other end of the bed. In some corner of my head- somewhere- I could imagine you. I could imagine you in sitting right in front of me. 'So close' I felt. The thought brought a smile on my face, bloomed a thousand flowers in the garden of my thoughts.

Again, until I could trace the path in my head to come reach to you, I lost you already.

I searched through my phone gallery for your picture. Then I held it in front of me, blocking the view of those pillows. I pretended if you were really laying there.

' I'm wondering, are you my best friend?

Feels like a river's rushing through my mind' roared the song in my ears. I went to the balcony wishing I see a shooting. 'Come. Come to look into my eyes. Stand there in front of me. Just one day'

I miss you Taehyung. You are such a loser.