Double Trouble

Chapter Thirteen

I was nervous as all hell. Trying not to bring attention to myself. All kinds of shit was racing through my head at this moment, and I didn't know how to handle it.

Jason had gotten back to me immediately after I sent the message. He wanted to meet right then and there, but it was no way I was ready to see him right then. I told him I was available Monday and we could meet early evening. I spent the rest of the weekend with Marcus, never mentioning seeing him with Clara. He didn't bother me too much, and I played my role well. I was really recovering from the weekend of partying and excitement, and I rolled with that when I wasn't up for doing much. He was cool with it, never questioning it, but I always kept in the back of my head that he might have been playing a role too.

It was around 6 pm, and now I was waiting for Jason to meet me in a restaurant he used to love to take me to when we were dating. I knew it wasn't a coincidence that he wanted me to remember things about us, and he was succeeding. We would always come here, sit in this exact back corner and eat and flirt. He knew my love for authentic pasta and discovered this cute little out-of-the-way spot with the best food. I was really skipping down memory lane with this and had already had a drink and begun eating bread.

Finally, about 5 minutes after six, he came in, looking calm, cool, and collected like he wasn't about to have dinner with his ex, who pretty much hated him. He was wearing black slacks and a white button-up and was carrying a black portfolio in his hand. I couldn't even lie to myself that the man didn't look good. But my reasoning for being here kept me from eyeing him too much. Just enough.

He sat across from me, tossed the portfolio on the seat next to him, and said, "How have you been, Christa?" I looked at him and said, "This isn't a dinner date or a reunion; you know why I'm here, Jason. Can we cut to the chase?" he chuckled and said, "That's my girl. Always ready to get straight to the point." I rolled my eyes and ignored the "my girl" statement. I've always known it to be easier to ignore him. He said, "I don't know where you want me to start to be honest with you. This shit just exploded into something out of my control." I said, "The beginning is always a good spot."

He sighed and ran his hand over his head. He said, "If I tell you this, one, you have to shut up and let me talk. Don't interrupt if I'm going to get it all out." I opened my mouth to say something, feeling highly offended when he held up his hand. "See that shit right there? None of that; this is going to be hard enough." I closed my mouth and nodded. He said, "Second, you can't do anything about this without me. You are going to be pissed, no you are going to be well beyond pissed and want to react; I need you to think this through, baby girl. No rash decisions. I promise it is not a simple fix."

I stared at him and was slightly disturbed. Jason was not a man easily bothered. A lot of shit rolled off his back like water, so the fact that he didn't think this was easy and was as concerned about this as he really was, made me realize this was a lot deeper than I thought it was, to begin with. I looked him dead in his eyes. He didn't blink; he didn't flinch or even move. But I saw the desperation in him that I couldn't shake off. I said, "Fine, tell me."

The whole time Jason was talking, I was in stunned disbelief. I couldn't think clearly at all. I couldn't even tell you what I was feeling. All I know is that everything he was saying both blew me and hurt me in the same go. I didn't want to believe him, but something in me told me I should. I felt like a caged animal. I wanted to lash out, and the person in front of me was the first one I wanted to. I promised I'd let him finish, and I was, but boy, I was ready to snap.

He spent about an hour talking about the entire situation. Every other minute my mind and emotions changed tack, and I wasn't sure what to do with myself. When he finally stopped, he stared at me, waiting for my reaction. I sat up in my seat, leaned in slightly, and said, "Why the fuck should I believe anything that just came out of your fucking mouth? Who in the hell would believe that shit you are telling me, Jason? Am I supposed to trust you after the shit you did? You came up with this elaborate fucking story to cover your ass all these months later. Are you fucking kidding me!?" he didn't say anything. He let me vent it out.