The Body Pillow

Chapter One - Meeting my Idols

I woke up on a beautiful Monday morning to my alarm playing ridin solo and I started drawing my NSFW drawing of Alex. It looks amazing so far. I made sure to add a cum stain to the bottom of his underwear! I then started working on my furry art to post to the fan art channel on his discord server. I think Alex is gonna like this. He loves when people say he's a furry so i decided to draw him as one. What an amazing way to start my day. I post furry art and I go to school. While I'm at school I don't have any friends...I don't know why I mean I'm beautiful but behind closed doors I have a tiny secret. I-I'm a big lover of furries. I love drawing them. In class sometimes I just start drawing random people in my class as furries! I got jumped last week because of it but it's fine! I finish up with school and start walking home. I join one of the voice chats on my bae alex's server and just sit there and breathe into my mic and listen to this person's conversation. I get to my room and punch my wall. Why doesn't Alex look at my art! I'm so angry I'm gonna punch myself!! To call myself down I start working on my NSFW fanart again. It's the body pillow art...i got some hate comments but that won't stop me from sexualizing my king! I finally finished my body pillow art and decided to post it to the fan-art channel. It's been up for about 1 hour now and I wanted to go see what people thought of it. I got banned. I got banned from Alex's server! He's going live tonight so I'll donate and ask him if he can unban me. Alex is live now and he's streaming Animal Crossing for the 18th time. He's really good at animal crossing. I decided to donate 3$ and ask him something. i donated, "Hey I made a body pillow for you and you banned me from your server can you unban me?" The message read out and he said I'm sorry you got banned. Then he jumped out of my computer screen and licked my face and ate my head off. It was all a dream...sadly.

  I looked in the mirror when I got up and I had my oily brown hair in a messy bun. My family was so poor it is sad. The I ate Lovely Peaches cereal with a picture of peaches crying and twerking on the front. It's my favorite cereal in the world! I got ready for my day and did my makeup and got dressed in my leggings and uggs. Peaches Lovely Peaches Lovejly Peakhes yummy peaches. After eating id watch tiktok and cry. penis.

    Later that day, my mom told me we didn't have money so she was selling me for 247 pounds of meth. I was scared because who was going to take care of me, butnobody took care of me anyways so I guess it wasn't a big deal. I have severe childhood trauma.

   I heard a knock on my bedroom door as I packed my bags full of the longest body pillows i could find at my local wholefoods (don't ask teehee) and THERE THEY WERE! Justin bever, HAIRY STYLES, and justin timberlick. "ELLO LUV! We brought you over here and we are taking you to our mansion innit", Harry said in his cute bri ish accent!!!!! with his cute bri ish eyes and bri ish hair.

   I brought my suitcase into the limo that was outside my house and while I did that I saw that peaches were inside with pitbull singing a fireball while eating turkey sandwiches. OMG PEACHES and pitbull of course too i thought. I want a turkey sandwich, not fair, I thought. "hey honey bunchy have you can have my wuvwy tuwky Sam and which <3 follow me on iwnstwagwam!" and then i looked at my stupid idiot loser mom one last time. She was high and doing heroin. "By mom", I said and she cried, "Sorry I needed meth but nhave fun with these sexy millionaires". Then Adam Driver is the driver of the limousine inside!!!!

    We drove to the mansion and when we got inside someone else was there waiting for me... Quackity???? He had a *weird stain* on his pants but I ignored it. "Hey you are going to be our slave", he told me and I got scared. "W-what type of slave?", I asked and he glared at me. "hold on-" he said then he tirned and yelled- "HEY ALEXA DUMB BITCH PLAY MO BAMBA LOSER. "she started playing sicko mode. he turned back to me and said "A normal slave... we need someone to do everything because we are actually in a gang". Then he pulled out a knife and licked it because it had peanut butter on it. He then started cleaning the kitchen with the knife. Then out of nowhere, MARKIPLIER WALKS IN?? He was wearing a jacksepticeye shirt. I freak out, I love Marky Mark and his beautiful, lucious calves. Out of nowhere, he shouts "WAS THAT THE BITE OF 87!!??!" referring to the large chomp taken out of the rotisserie chicken next to my quackity body pillow. But I wondered: where tf was Aksel the egg? I miss his spherical frame :(. I know he's a part of this gang he has to be SOMEWHERE.   I hope he doesn't steal my knee caps... he might make them into soup bowls! and i don't even like soup! oh god oh no! oh no! uh ohsies!

     "I'm here to steal your knee caps!", someone screamed from the other room and I started crying because I recognized that voice... AKSEL WAS GOING TO STEAL THEM FROM ME! I tried hiding under the cupboards, but Alex pulled me out and took the chains off of his arms and put them on mine. "You can't hide!", he said and I sighed. Guess I was going to have to get used to no knee caps.... He was already saving pins to his pinterest board "soup and sea men."

     After Aksel took my knee caps I had to shit. So I went to the bathroom and walked into ALEX POOPING! It smelt good. I just wanted to eat it and cover my ears and big toe with it so my hamster could lick it off.But omg I'm so   embarrassed! I covered my face with my hands to hide the fact that I was blushing as red as the tomato I had for dinner yesterday!! he yelled "GET THE FUCK OUT BITCH!!!!". He's so romantic, I thought. How could my life get any better than this amazing mafia gang?

    This was so much nicer and funnier than the cracks methyyp heroine weedy crystal methy juuly house I used to live in. I didn't miss my stinky methyl Mom at all! But then I thought about my childhood best friend Timothee Chalamet and started crying...I missed him so much I started sobbing. We were neighbors when we were 10 and sometimes he would touch my butt... gosh I missed him SO MUCH. He always had a weird obsession with peaches (the fruit) which was inch resting because they were outlawed back in 2003.

Out of nowhere I heard a hugh mungus thump! I ran to the thump and saw my sexy history teacher... bro he was sooo fine. I helped him up and asked" what are you doing here liam payne?' "you're 18 now right babe?"(but it's ok if ur 17;))" and "DO YOU FART" he asked making the face like the do you fart fosh. I knew where this was going... I replied with a "yes of course daddy!" Then we started making out passionately. Before we could get more heated, Alex walked in. " WHAT THE FUCK YOU DOING WITH MY SLAVE LIAM????????" Alex yelled. Liam ran away and left you alone with alex. Alex looked you up and down in disgust. "stupid bitch" and then left you alone. i ran out crying. I was sobbing so much I could barely hear Alex crying in the kitchen...i made my way to the kitchen to see alex crying on the floor about getting hacked on twitch just like trisha paytas my fish queen. and he was stuffing his face with pizza rolls and peanut butter. " a-alex.. Are you ok?' I asked. "Uwu i can't believe he's looking at me he's such a macho man,' I thought. he slowly looked up with tears falling from his cheek. "Do i look ok?' you kneel down...wait...you have no knees! you fell down and hugged him. "Its ok queen, keep your head up, your crown is falling," i said, recalling a quote i found on pinterest he smiled and got up. "Thank you Y/N."

     *Timeskip to 1994*

Out of nowhere I hear a strong manly godly voice... Obama??? "Obama is that you"I say scaredly.  "  "yes perpendicular circle, it is me@" ObaMa yo Mama states stronkly, opening his big gaping earlobes to hear the Aliens from the Year 4729. The big triangle forms aw a manly fart is forced out of Y/N's but. Y/N groans in pain, "It feels like I'm giving birth to a fucking Ogre like shrek wtf" She clutches her rapidly bloating stomach in ultimate p a i n. "Brofist," Liam mutters, shaking his head in despair. "They took my wife."

                   "OwO" Says Harry Styles. SUddenly Y/N's mom bursts in the Door. "Ok this is epic" she yells angrily, feeling pure hatred overcome every fiber in her body. She bit into my stolen honey mustard BBQ rotten tuna ketchup sandwich from 4 years ago. It's rotten. Her slimy gums take in the overwhelming taste of dying fish. Her toes tinkled in pain and juice leaked out of them. Everyone stared in shock. Who WAS this dumb bitch?

pp

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