My heart is beating so loud and so fast that it feels like anger knocking at the door.
I sometimes feel like my body is the door and my mind is the house itself.
The living room, bathroom, bedroom you name it, I feel it. And every room represents a memory.
My bedroom is where I spent most nights just being lost in my thoughts and the only way for me to escape them was to sleep. Only to be woken up to something much darker.
The bathroom is similar but only this time the thoughts are much darker. "You'll never get through this", "you'll never survive", "No one would remember you if you were gone".
The living room is nothing but memories of people who I've lost. It reminds me of times when people had to leave, even if they didn't want to.
I sometimes feel like my life is a neighborhood. At first people come to welcome you and show you around. But eventually as time goes on, you're been forgotten. People stop hanging out with you, and you just get used to it. And that's what leads to the endless thoughts and sleepless nights.
I sometimes feel like I should've been a famous actor because I've gotten real good at pretending to be what I'm not. And no one else seems to notice who I am on the inside.
And those who do notice who I am on the inside, I push them away as if they are no longer welcome on stage.
And I wonder what my play looks like from the eyes of the audience. Will I get good reviews? Will they be changed by the time it's over? Or will it just drift away like thin air?
This is my story, and sadly it's one many people share. Maybe not the same details, but definitely a similar story.
My heart is beating so loud and so fast that it feels like anger knocking at the door...
