Baby Daddy (HS)

one: the test

"I think you need to take a test"

It's been 8 weeks since my night out with Mr. T, D, and H and the consequences of the night out only seemed to pile up as time passes. I thought the lecture that I got from my best friend Celia about the dangers of leaving the bar with random men was the worst of it, but as my knees begin to ache from the hard floor below them her yelling doesn't seem so bad. I open my mouth to counter her statement, but I am immediately flooded with a feeling of nausea again. As the content of my stomach tumbles out of me a very familiar sense of dread sets in. It's the same feeling that I felt as I waited for my uber outside and that I again felt when I realized that my period was late. I knew the facts. I wasn't oblivious to the truth of what was happening but the longer that I acted like my worst fears weren't coming true the longer that I could come up with a plan. When I finally finish, I wordlessly turn and lay my head onto Celia's lap. As I do, she brings her hand up to rub my back. The soothing feeling slightly slows my quickened breath and helps a calm being to weave through my tighten muscles. This has been our routine for the last three days and every day the tension in the bathroom grows, us both knowing it was only a matter of time before I had to buckle down take a test. Test or not we both knew the truth and all signs were pointing to pregnant. At this point, it would be nothing short of a miracle if a test came back negative.

"I know." I say just above a whisper defeat laced in my tone. It seemed impossible that this was happening. My whole life I have operated in caution. I never rode my bike without a helmet, I never ate food that was close to its expiry date and I sure as hell didn't sleep around. The idea of going home with a stranger now sounds insane, but I guess that same sentiment did not set it with six drink Margot. The memory of his hands running down my body is not enough to justify my crazed actions, but the memory of his lips against mine works hard to.

"You should call him before." I hear Celia say from above me. Immediately I shoot up and look at her as if she has just told me that she was planning on moving to mars. "Hear me out! Call him before you take the test. Ask him to coffee or something. Then subtly add in that you think that you might be pregnant, and you can gauge his reaction. If he freaks out and you turn out not to be pregnant you can brush it off as nothing."

"And what if he freaks out and I am pregnant?" I counter her.

"Well," She says taking a breath. "If that's the case we'll cross that bridge when we get there."

"How do you subtly add into a conversation that you think you might be pregnant to a guy that did very little talking with?"

"I don't know. Something like wow my vanilla latte is so good. You know what isn't great? The possibility of pregnancy!" Celia says. I look at the girl for a few seconds as if she has grown a third eye before a small smile plays its way onto my lips. I lay my head back into her lap and let out a deep breath.

"I'm scared," I say uttering my true feelings for the first time. Scared is most definitely a blanket term for the myriad of emotions that I feel at that moment but truthfully even if I wanted to begin to give descriptors to most of them, I would fall short. So scared, maybe even terrified, will have to do for right now.

__

I sit at a quiet booth tucked in the back of the coffee shop that we had decided to meet at. I run an anxious hand over my dress trying to smooth out any wrinkles that appeared as I sat while I watched the door closely. Slightly surprisingly the man who's name I only remember as Harry when I went scrolling through my contacts, was eager to meet when sent him a vague text message. Now as sit with a cup of decaf coffee steaming in front of me it seems to be a very, very bad idea. I briefly set a hand on my stomach. The idea that there really truly might be a baby in there causes my breath to get caught in my throat. It seemed so utterly impossible. Even the word pregnant sounds foreign in my brain as if it could apply to every person in the world other than me and I guess him too.