depression {han}

Depression

Jisung was broken, feeling things that words couldn't describe. He had been sick countless times from exhaustion, his thoughts keeping him up at night. He used to cut his wrists, until one day he passed out, the pain too much to handle. His mother finding him and taking him to the hospital. She had sat with him, her precious baby, for hours on end and when he had finally regained conciousness, he looked at his mother and apologised for all the pain he'd caused her. He was placed on suicide watch for the next 6 months. He wasnt allowed anything, not even a proper blanket. For the first few weeks his wother visited him everyday, but soon she stopped coming at all. To everyone he looked like he was improving, but inside he felt alone and caged in, like an animal. He felt like he had nothing left to live for. After 6 months he tried to return to normal life, going to university and trying meet up with friends, but after a while he found out that those friends left him too. He felt outcast, his thoughts telling him "If you died, no one would care, no one would shed a single tear. This planet is better off without you." and the voices in his head got louder every day. Until, one day, they stopped.
The day he met Chan. He didn't know at the time that Chan would save his life, but over time he became the solution to all of Jisungs problems. They understood each other. Whenever jisung reached for a blade or a bottle of pills he heard chans voice telling him not to be selfish. He never really understood what that meant, he thought Chan was saying it to be mean or to make fun of him. But today he understood.
'Don't be selfish, there's so many people on this planet who are yet to meet you. You have a whole future to look forward to, you have all of that time. Don't end your life because of how you feel today because feelings change all the time. Even though you might not see it now, you have so much left to live for.'