Donuts At The Bar

Chapter 1: Stuck in Maple Syrup

“Why can’t you take a year gap for me and do your CA next year? Think about it alright! I am running late for my class. I love you!” the text flashed on my mobile screen.

And my heart just sank.

The honking of the midday traffic snapped me back to reality where I was stuck in the queue behind hundreds of vehicles. I wiped off the fear and disappointment from my cheeks and renewed my energy looking at the words in bold ‘London’ on my accommodation papers.

I couldn’t wait any longer, so I decided to get on my trembling feet to run to the bank since it was the last day to make my deposit payment.

I hurried my way to the counter while Tams, my constant companion and future flatmate, struggled through the crowd with her clumsy self. It was no surprise when she dropped her file with all her documents scattered on the floor. I immediately rushed to lend some help and we sat to sort those documents out.

Amidst the sweaty and talkative crowd of bankers and customers, a mild voice from a guy next to me raised my eyebrows who was talking about his first-class undergraduate degree in Accounting. My deep-seated desire to achieve one but my results quite contrary to my hope because of a slight difference made me jealous instantly. Not sure whether labelling that emotion as mere jealousy would be appropriate or not since my mind was preoccupied with my own issues.

The hectic part of my day ended quite swiftly and like every other night, I was scrolling through stories of many successful visa permits on my social media.

Out of sheer curiosity, I felt an urge to look for that guy on Facebook since he had outstanding academic achievements. ‘Absolutely proud of my devoted student, Nathan for his remarkable results’, posts as such were inundating his profile by many of our mutual teachers.
Quite stunned that we were always in the same fraternity and in fact applying to the same university but never bumped into each other until that day, I slammed my laptop and went off to sleep.

The next day was supposed to be another long day of waiting for an update on my visa while I was looking for some comforting gestures from Kevin to make my ride through it a bit easier. Having received none, I continued to stagger myself through the ordeal with my family by my side and loads of financial problems on my shoulders.

Instead he would hit me up with occasional ‘It’s okay Natalie, if it isn’t in your fate, don’t cry over it’.

But everything failed to overshadow my vision to get the title of a CA.

Despite the struggles I was facing every single day, I didn’t feel the wish to pour my heart out to him because that comfort was lost or probably it was never there?

Being an emotional mess or blame my impulsiveness, I texted him with harsh notes of my frustration and that I had too much on my plate to deal with. Thinking back now, probably I didn’t want his pancakes on my plate at that moment.

With a minute part of my brain agreeing to be anxious over this at this point, I just felt stuck in an obligation.

The sweetness of the maple syrup on my pancakes wasn’t captivating my taste buds anymore. But I chose to stick to my regular menu anyway.

Another day with more gush of desperation in me, I found my way into numerology and horoscope for some ray of hope.

Kevin continued with his text messages of consolation and in one of those he chose to refer to a friend who could be with his dad in his deathbed because of a cancellation of his flight. I only chose to see the hidden negativity in his messages and shunned him away.

Fast forward to 20th September when I was a week late for my classes and my friends left for theirs already. I had my declining hope wrapped around this date because some random numerologist on the internet said so.

Just on blind faith I left for the visa office with no notification from them and thanks to all the entities that conspired to not let me down this time, I GOT MY VISA.

After informing my family, Kevin was the first person I called with tears of happiness rolling down my cheeks.

But he just wasn’t happy.

His words were only ‘So you are leaving’. Sigh.

It was a sudden whirlwind of activity where my family had no time to be sentimental about my departure rather, we rushed to arrange the tickets, packing and what not.

Next it was time for us to meet for one last time before I leave.

But quite surprisingly, it wasn’t an emotional farewell.

7 years of relationship and he didn’t even bother to hold my hand in those 10minutes I spared out of my last day before departure.

Starting from the moment my dad called me back home till the time I reached the airport the next day, my heart was seeking for some way by which he would make me feel special or make this last day memorable but there was none while I folded and wrapped his memories in a cute corner of my luggage.

It was the final day and I woke up to his text that read he would be waiting for me right here when I will be back after a year. It brought a slight curve on my face which I was craving for since eternity.

After a lot of preparation, we reached the airport and that was the point when my family felt that pain of separation.

But I can’t stress this enough how much they battled with their tears only to burst out once I left for immigration.

I boarded my first international flight and most importantly, the flight of my dreams, the dream that I made a reality.

After taking a few aesthetic snaps for my instagram story, I brought out the book I was planning to finish in flight. This was one of my earliest favourites because it holds old school romance in the most beautiful way before its reader and captivates every little expectation of an ordinary girl like me.

  High up in the sky, among the clouds, with earphones plugged in, I had entered my Lala land.

After a while, halfway through my read, I was served food,
but it didn’t have pancakes for dessert.

Instead there were donuts.
Donuts never fascinated me, so I left those over.

I returned to my book but the moment the lines read “Learn to let go of things when they no longer make your soul happy”, I decided to take a nap because avoiding signs is definitely my thing.

After a journey of 20hours, I landed.

The moment my phone got connected to the Wi-Fi of the Heathrow Airport, it exploded with text messages from my sister, the one who definitely stayed up for me all night, tracking my way all over the maps online.

Just as I made my way through the tedious queues of passengers, a lovely smiling face was waiting for me at the arrivals.