The following is the script for a speech given at Anthony's wedding. Here we find out what happened to the green sofa.
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Good Afternoon, friends, family, and guests of the bride and groom. For those of you who haven't met me, I'm Paris, Erin's maid of honor. I'd like to start by saying how grateful and humbled I am that Erin asked me to be her maid of honor. I'll try to do right by her and by Anthony today with this toast.
(pause)
I'd like to break this speech into two parts. First, I'd like to tell you guys the story of how Erin Long and Anthony Tyler met... Because this is a wedding, dammit, and someone has to tell stories or otherwise you'll get bored. The second part of this toast will be three things that I think make for a good marriage, some values I've pulled aside and think our star couple here exemplify well.
Now, for the folks who have heard this story, try to sit still and pretend like you haven't already heard it twenty times.
Richard Tyler, Anthony's great uncle, passed away several years ago. His death left the burden of a rotted old house in Georgetown to Anthony to deal with. Selling the house and sorting through Uncle Richard's possessions was an ordeal. One morning, Anthony decides he's going to haul an antique green leather sofa to his apartment in Arlington from this house in Georgetown. He doesn't have a car and knows that he can't and won't schlep a sofa onto the metro, so he calls an Uber. That was pretty new back in the day. The Uber gets there, and this gorgeous girl gets out of the SUV and asks him if he needs help moving the sofa from the curb. At this point, Anthony over here was trying to play it very cool and said no. He makes it four feet before dropping it back on the curb, scaring the neighbor's cat, and falling backward into a flowerbed. Apparently, Erin here found it charming and they spent the rest of the morning sitting in a coffee shop and talking. The rest is history.
It's probably not the best meet-cute you guys have ever heard, but I like the mental image of Anthony here falling on his ass in front of his future wife. What followed is truly one of the strongest and most grounded relationships that I've ever seen. The love and support that exude from Erin and Anthony is palpable. They're the best of friends, and I know that their marriage will be a long and happy one.
When I was thinking about the parts of a good marriage, a lot of buzzwords came up. You could probably come up with a few yourself, maybe love or trust. But three others stand out to me, and I want to talk about those three today.
The first value I want to talk about today is time. Our hope is that this couple will spend their lives together from now until old age. In terms of time, this reminds me of that old cliche--quality versus quantity. Spending years together is not a guarantee of happiness or fulfillment. Spending time well is far more valuable than merely spending a lot of time together. I know for a fact that Erin and Anthony value the time they share. They exemplify the value of time well spent each time they go camping (and don't shut up about it). Each time they have lunch together on a busy workday. Each time they cancel on something else to stay in and watch movies together. Our couple doesn't just love each other, they actually like each other.
The second value that I think makes for a good marriage is balance. Devotion is a two-way street, and finding a balance between supporting and being supported is vital. Help your partner achieve their dreams, but don't give up on yours. Having respect for your partner, your person, means knowing when to ask and when to compromise. I know that Erin and Anthony can strike that balance because I've seen them do it at every turn. Anthony found a job in the city because he knew it was important for Erin's career in PR. Erin didn't want to move to Arlington, but she knew that it was important for Anthony to stay close to his family. They know what to give up so they can hang onto the things that matter most.
The final thing that keeps a marriage strong is communication. Our arrangements go awry. We miscommunicate. But communication is more than just talking to each other about our problems. It's about seeing your partner's perspective and trying to understand where they're coming from. It's about coming to a place of understanding through empathy. Compromise is a virtue. Erin and Anthony know how to have the tough conversations. I can confirm this by admitting that once I overheard them arguing about where to have dinner. At first, it seemed trivial. Why does it matter that much? But as Anthony explained, the ability to choose was symbolic. It meant a lot to him, and the discussion that followed underscores the point about communication. Erin and Anthony understand acceptance, compromise, and apology. They know how to move past disputes and disagreements, through hurt feelings and arguments fumbled. I know they communicate well, and not just because Erin has a degree in communications.
(Pause)
I've talked a lot about values here today, and my goal was to point out specific things that Erin and Anthony do well. The simple fact that they meet each other's needs naturally and without second thought goes to show that their marriage will be a good one.
So, my dearest friends Erin and Anthony, keep doing what you're already doing. Keep spending quality time together, continue to find balance. Keep communicating. Do as you already know.
There's a Dr. King quote I found that I think is especially relevant today. On marriage, King says,
"There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage."
As usual, King is right. Erin, Anthony... I hope your marriage is as lovely, friendly, and charming as a marriage can be. I wish you good health and good fortune. I, of course, wish you happiness, but I more urgently wish for you to have the tools to persevere when times are less than blissful. Hang onto the skills you have but add to them. Practice patience, tolerance, and respect. Be considerate. Be open.
Love each other as we know you do: carefully, loyally, and totally.
(Pause)
Please join me now in raising our glasses to toast the marriage of Erin and Anthony. You guys, congratulations!
