Ok so this is an update. My friends think that I've gotten better but I haven't, I've just gotten better at hiding it. Tbh it's gotten worse I've been told to go kill my self I've already tried before twice. My aunt Lisa passed away from a heart attack i don't even know if I told my friends they've been really distant they will video chat and not even think to tell me yeah that doesn't make me feel good at all. Sometimes I wanna scream I can't give people what they want from me ever in so pathetic. You can ask my dad in just an ignorant fuck my dad doesn't help he still makes me feel like shit. My anxiety lately just has been going through the roof I keep trying but my parents keep me to do stuff and I do it stuff like my school work and I do it but even thought I try my hardest it still isn't good enough. I can't even remember the last time I haven't stayed up till 2.am crying. But I guess that's all for now, until the next chapter good bye
