Pulse

High hopes

Harry wiped his eyes as he saw sunshine running around the house, making breakfast for the very last time. He wanted to hold him forever and ever, but knew that if he stood up right now, he'd completely fall apart.

He didn't dare think about the consequences of sunshine leaving, about him being alone for the rest of time, getting bullied with no one to cheer him up, just him and his dark little home. The tears kept coming, so much so that sunshine had to step in and hold him for a while.

"Haz, come on, look at me", he whispered as he pressed a soft kiss in those long curls. "I know you can do it, there's no reason to cry, look at it like a once in a lifetime experience".

"I don't want to lose you", Harry sniffled.

"I promise I'm not interesting enough to spend the rest of your life with".

Harry wiped his eyes again. "I made you something".

"You did?" He asked with a glimmer in his eyes.

"For when it's cold, back in England", he said as he held up a gorgeous lavender sweater, "you can wear it and think of me from time to time".

"It's gorgeous Harry, thank you so much".

"I love you" Harry whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

"And I love you", sunshine mumbled back. He grabbed the basket of food and carefully put the sweater on top of it. "Alright", he said with a shaky breath, "let's go then".

They walked to the pier holding hands, still hiding from other people after all this time, they didn't care about all that anymore though, they only cared about each other. As sunshine was putting everything into the boat, Harry stood back and just looked at him.

Sunshine turned around, his eyes were getting glassy. He ran up to Harry and squeezed him into a tight hug, "never forget about me, please", he whispered, as tears wet both their shirts.

"Good luck on your trip sunshine", Harry said as he kissed the top of his head, "I promise I'll cherish you forever".

Sunshine smiled a weak smile and stepped into the boat, waving at Harry one last time before sailing away.

Harry sat back on the ground, he was too sad to even cry, he sat there for minutes, hours even, too numb for anything, even just breathing hurt. He just lost the one piece of happiness he'd ever had.

He started shivering when night fell, he wondered if sunshine was doing okay, god he hoped so. He would give his life for that man, no, he would give his life up too easily, that wasn't even a fair promise. He would start living for that man. Start taking joy in the days if it meant it would make him happy.

He took a shaky breath and made his way home, the tears started spilling as soon as his feet hit the ground, but he didn't even care, he just wanted to be home and wrap the blanket sunshine used around himself, bathe in his scent, pretend he never left.

There was an envelope on his bed once he arrived, Harry didn't know if he wanted to open it already, didn't know if he was ready for it yet. Nevertheless, he did, he owed it to sunshine.

My dearest Harry,

In the short time I've gotten to know you, you've shown me what life is really about. It's about loving people, giving them your everything , even when you have nothing. You are truly one of the kindest, most loving people I have ever met, you showed me so much compassion, invited me into your home and shared your food, slept on the couch so I could have a bed. You gave me clothes and a place to stay, you showed me love. I quickly fell in love with you. With your gorgeous eyes and bouncy curls. Couldn't even believe you were real at times. Your hugs felt so safe, your kisses like tiny pieces of heaven, I wish I could've taken you with me, introduce you to my mother, my family, they would love you, I'm sure of it. I wish I could've heard my real name roll off of your tongue, just once would be enough to make butterflies flutter around my tummy forever. I'm sorry I had to leave you, I owed it to my family and myself to go back. Just know that I will never forget you, you're locked inside my heart forever and I will miss you until the end of time.

Yours truly,
Sunshine

There were 5 words at the bottom of the paper as well. Harry noticed as he was wiping his eyes for what felt like the 100th time. It looked like a grocery list. Typical sunshine, reusing paper and all that.

Lettuce, Onion, Udon, Ice cream, Soup

He had no idea what udon even was but absolutely loved that he had a piece of sunshine's handwriting in his possession. He held the letter close to his heart as he laid down, wrapping the blanket that smelled like sunshine around himself, before he cried himself to sleep.