Firebreather (Emison Fanfic)

Please, Forgive Me

Please, forgive me
I know not what I do
Please, forgive me
I can't stop loving you
Don't deny me
This pain I'm going through

Please, forgive me
If I need you like I do
Please, believe me
Every word I say is true
Please, forgive me
I can't stop loving you.

Ali's POV

I woke up in a hospital bed. I didn't remember how I had ended up there. I slowly opened my eyes but I had to close them again because of the bright light. I tried to raise my right hand but there was something weighting on it. I opened my eyes carefully and saw a girl laying there. Emily. She was obviously asleep. What is she doing here? What am I doing here?

I looked around in the white, sterile room. It was pretty empty. There was only a small table next to the table and a plastic bottle of water. There was a teddy bear on the table, too and a blue Get well- card leaning on it. There was a window but there were curtains in front of it. I didn't even know if it was night or day. Night probably, since Em was sleeping.

I rested my head back on the pillow making the bed creak. Em raised her head sleepily.

"Oh, Ali. You're awake", she said with mixed feelings on her face.

"What time is it?" I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I don't know. Midnight?" she rubbed her eyes sleepily with her hands.

"What am I doing here?" I asked. My head felt it was full of bubblegum rolled in sand.

"Wait, you don't remember?" Em furrowed her eyebrows.

"Well, I remember what happened at school but everything after that is... Blur."

"You.. You tried to..." she stuttered and then raised her eyes to look at me. There was pain in her eyes when she did that."You tried to hang yourself."

As she said that, all the memories came rushing back to my mind. Driving home from school, the paper on the fridge door. I remembered writing in my diary, the blue ribbon and the black belt. Seeing the black chair fall down and the pressure on my neck. I remembered the feeling of not being able to breath. I remembered seeing Em's face before losing consciousness again. No, this is not possible, I thought shaking my head. That didn't seriously happen. All the sudden my head didn't just feel like it was full of sand. It felt like someone was hammering it with a giant sledgehammer. I couldn't breath. My fingers clung on the bed sheets.

"Are you okay?" she laid her hand on mine. It made me shiver.

I couldn't speak. I didn't even understand, why she was here. I thought she would be mad at me. I didn't look at her. I looked at the curtains. I looked at the table. I looked at the teddy bear. I looked everything else but her.

"Ali, talk to me", she begged trying to make an eye contact with me.

"What are you doing here, Em?" I sighed finally turning to look at her.

"What do you mean?"

"You hate me", I stated.

Em leaned back on the chair."What makes you think I would hate you?"

"Because of what happened yesterday. The thing at school".

"Yeah, I wanted to talk about that", she started looking a little bit nervous.

"Wait, before you say anything, I want to apologize", I interrupted her."I'm sorry. It was my fault. Daniel was the one who kissed me but it's no excuse. I let him do that. And I hate myself for doing that."