The Ends We Seam Together

It wasn't supposed the be them

'It was supposed to be me.' Starscream chanted in his head as he aimlessly walked the halls of the Nemesis. Well not exactly aimlessly. He was looking for somewhere, anywhere, that didn't have the memory of his trine mates clinging to it. He wouldn't find one. The Nemesis was a big part of the seekers' lives and Starscream would not find a single metal panel that did not have their very being engraved in it. He knew this, but that didn't stop him from looking.

'It was supposed to be me.' His optics were dull, his wings low on his back. He walked like a dead mech, slumped over himself as he used the walls for support. He had no external injuries, Megatron had ensured he left unscathed, but the pain was there. The pain was always there.

'It was supposed to be me. It was supposed to be me.' His intakes hitched as he forced back a sob. He would not cry. Not here. He would receive no sympathy, no comfort. This was not the Ark, there were no soft sparks here. He would be ignored at best and killed in his moment of weakness at worst.

Perhaps that wasn't such a bad thing. Perhaps he would see them again if he died as well. No... He promised them. He could not let their deaths be in vain. He could not join them until Megatron lay cold and gray on the ground. His intakes hitched again.

'Me. It was supposed to me.' His legs gave out from under him and he slid down the side of the wall. He pulled them close to his chassis and buried his face in his servos. His intakes were shallow and strained as he clenched at the sides of his helm.

He offlined his optics and allowed the pained whine that surfaced in his throat. He thought about screaming, causing pain to all audios in range, but he disliked the idea of drawing attention to himself in the state he was in. He doubted he could bring himself to fight off attackers. He doubted he would want to, given the chance.

 

Footsteps echoed through the hall softly. They approached the seeker at a steady pace, never faltered, never swayed. Each step was clear and certain. They had known the winged mech would be there and has sought him out.

'It wasn't..It was supposed to be me. It was supposed to me, me.'

The steps paused. They hadn't expected the choked back sobs. Was this really the proud, egotistical, decepticon SIC? No...This was the broken, trineless seeker.... They started walking again.

Starscream had not noticed the footsteps. Even when they were no more and a pace length away from him. He was trapped inside his helm, reliving the events over and over and over again. It would not stop. It would never stop. Not even when the two of them were long forgotten by everyone else. Starscream would never forget. Even if he wanted to. It was his fault. It was all his fault.

'It was supposed to be me!'

The footsteps stop in front of the seeker and the flash of movement he could see from between his legs caught his attention. He foolishly allowed his hope to fill his processor. Were they still alive? Were they here to fetch him like the always did when he fell into one of his moods? His head shot up, his optics bright for all of a few klicks before resigned recognition settles in its place. This was not Thundercracker and Skywarp.

'It was supposed to be me! It was supposed to be me! It was supposed to be me!'

Starscream's resolve crumbled in that moment. The tears of diluted coolant leaked from his optics and ran down the curve of his face as he accepted the fate that stood not a foot away from him. It seemed he wouldn't be able to keep his promise to his trine mates after all. He let the tears fall freely now. There was no point in hiding them. He looked up at the mech that would soon bring his end. He knew exactly what his final words would be.

'It was supposed to be me.'

 

"It wasn't supposed to be them."