Arranged

She Left

//y/n pov//
"I am not okay!", I sniffed, as I threw my phone on the bed and buried my face in my hands. "You always do this... I can't take this anymore!!", I cried.. tears rolled down my eyes continuously as I thought about my plight..since I got married to Jin..
This shouldn't like this right? But still, it is like this..
Our marriage was arranged by our parents, of course I knew him from before our marriage as a listener of kpop and as a friend.. but we were never close enough.. but we went with our parents' decision and got married... six months ago.. I guess.. that was a mistake... a huge one..
I sighed and looked up at the ceiling to try to stop my tears from rolling down my cheeks.. yet again, as I remembered the first thing, he said to me, "ok, now strip and lay down.. don't worry I won't hurt you... much!". "Huh!", was all I could manage to say but then I remembered my mom's words... in order to be good wife, you have to listen to everything that your husband says.. so I simply nodded and obeyed him.
That night, he took my virginity, it was not that I wasn't happy.. of course, I will be, he is my husband.. but I didn't feel anything..
The very next morning, however, I was welcomed by silence.. it should have been a beautiful morning with my husband by my side, but I got a text from him saying, he left for practice.
As much as I wanted to ignore his absence and be happy, I really wanted to feel loved by him.. but, alas, that never happened..
Half of the time, he spent the night at dorm or came back very late at night, when I fell asleep, and the rest of the time, we made love, or should I say he fucked me and then roll over to his side and fall asleep.
I wanted to talk it out, but for that, he needed to be with me.. i never got out of our house, except for going to work, even our honeymoon got postponed. I wasn't just sad or depressed anymore, I became numb.
I couldn't believe, I spent six months like this... six fucking months..
My mother also said, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.. so I used to wake up early to make delicious breakfast, but he never ate it, he gulped it all in, and left without telling me how it was, he ate, because food is needed to stay alive. I even cooked dinner.. new delicacies almost everyday, and almost everyday, it found its place in the dustbin, cause he didn't return and the rest of the times, it got ice cold.
Whenever, I wanted to just talk, he said, he is working..
I see people, newly married and all going on dates, doing cute things for each other and travelling, but not me.. our relationship starts and ends in bed.. that's it.
This relationship thing is taking a real toll on me.. i got dark circles under my eyes due to lack of sleep, i lost my smile, and most importantly, I lost myself.
But, not anymore, I wiped my tears and sighed. This cannot go on for long.. I gotta find a way out..now.

//Jin pov//
Some kind of urgency was clear in the tone of the texts, so without wasting anytime, I drove back home.
As I entered our shared bedroom, I saw, y/n taking packing her belongings.
Me: Y/n, are you going somewhere?
Y/n: Yeah! (she said without sparing me glance..)
Me: Where?
Y/n: Away from you (she said and slammed the toilet door shit after bringing out her toiletries.)

Me: Wait.. what, why? I asked confused.
Me: I am moving out Kim!, (she said glaring at me.)
Me: are you kidding me?
Y/n: No. You have to understand. I can't live like this anymore!
Me: D-did you find someone else?
Y/n: No. I just wasn't myself for myself for months and the saddest part is you didn't even notice!
she exclaimed the last part as tears rolled down her cheeks. She was in pain, I can feel that, but am I the reason? How?
"But, baby, I don't think I did anything, did I?", I asked clearly having no idea where I went wrong.
She stopped packing and stomped towards me, until she was standing right in front of me. "Exactly!, you didn't do anything, except fucking!" She spat. "Huh?", was all I could manage to say. "What? You didn't like the term? But guess what, that what it is, you fucked my body, but never made love to my soul, Jin, I thought, I will fall in love with you, and so will you, with me, eventually, but, in the course of pleasing you, and satisfying your needs, and trying hard to make you fall in love with me, I realised that I fell out of love with myself, and this isn't right, is it?", she sobbed. "So--", "but, I do love you!", I said cutting her off, she chuckled, "it doesn't seem like Jin, I don't feel it.. I don't feel it, at all!", she sniffed, and wiping her tears she continued, "so, I will take sometime off and make myself fall in love with the person that I am in real, and think about what to do with this marriage!". I gasped.
"You're leaving me?", I asked, clearly not believing what I heard. "Yup!", she said, keeping a straight face and went back to close her bags. I stood there frozen at my place, trying to process what just happened, with my mouth open agape.
I caused her to leave? I am such a bad husband, but there's no way, I am divorcing her, she may not know, but I do love her and all this time, I made love with her, I didn't fuck her.. maybe, my way of expressing love is wrong but not my love, and I will prove it to her.. i promise..
"But!", she said breaking me off my trance, "don't worry, I will not involve our families in this, until, we come to a decision!" She faked a smile and walked past me with her bags.
As I watched her go away from me, I don't know, how, but I spoke, "you may leave me now, but, remember, you'll have to come back to me, cause this time, I will earn you!"
As she heard the words and turned to face me.
"I will be waiting for that day!", she replied with a smile on her face and then she left...