Trigger warning.
You once said to me, "After a person treats you so horribly that it breaks you, you lose all feelings for them."
I don't think you know just how wrong you were. Because when I look at you, my glasses fog. An earthquake of emotions and feelings that I had once begged for, rush back; taking over the deafening numbness that you left me with.
I don't think you know just how wrong you were. Because when I see you with her, my lip begins to shake. Watching you delight in each other, in how perfectly she fits into your arms, in how she is everything I strive for, everything I could never be. She makes up my insecurities, cutting into my skin with every smile, carving her name across my back with every well thought out giggle and petite little sneeze.
I don't think you know just how wrong you were. Because seeing her angelic hair, her soft skin, unbitten nails. She who does not burden her friends with her problems; why? Because she has none. She is not an anxiety-ridden, depressed, mess of a friend. And I bet she doesn't get scared, have to take things slow or have panic attacks every time you make an advance on her. I'm sure she's the perfect lover.
She is the complete definition of total perfection, with not a blemish or defect and looking at her makes me want to scream until my lungs collapse. I want to smash my hands with a rock until I can't hold anything ever again. To go without holding you hurts more than any amount of self-harm. The tang of hunger in my stomach as I restrict for days upon end is nothing compared to the absence of your body against mine. The cold you left me with.
The worst part is, I'm still hopelessly in love with you, devoted to each and every aspect of you. Whilst you begin to fall, ever so deeply, in love with her. Why shouldn't you? She's perfect, and you're meant to be.
