talia [catradora]

part twelve

"my name is catra, and i have a problem."

"I'm listening."

bow and catra sat on opposite couches. the apartment was silent except for the sound of the ac blasting. 

"is this really necessary?" catra whined.

"you asked for it. we're going to talk about what's hurting you, and then you're going to work on recovering." bow was incredibly firm, but he still fidgeted nervously. he and catra had, well, a history. he didn't want to get a set of claws to his jugular.

catra sighed. "okay. i'm starting over. my name is catra, and i have a problem."

"what's your problem?"

"i'm still holding on."

"to?"

catra choked the name out. "adora." it hurt to say it. to hear it. "i can't forget her."

"you don't have to forget her." bow's tone changed. "just forgive yourself. this isn't about adora, catra. it's about you, and letting go. it's not your fault."

"but i wanted-" catra bit her tongue. "i just wanted more time with her."

"catra, i know. i would give up all my earthly hours to get to talk to her and glimmer for just five minutes. and i'm sure you would too. you have to let go, though."

"i- i don't know how." catra clasped her hands in her lap, like adora used to.

"okay, let's start with this. think about her."

can't be too hard. catra brought to mind all her favorite memories of adora - her laugh, the smell of her hair, her strong arms. the memories flooded her mind, until she was almost drowning under the thought of adora. the memories started getting darker - adora accidentally cutting herself while making dinner, adora arguing with catra over something petty, catra slamming door after door in adora's face. catra grabbing adora's arm too hard, and accidentally drawing blood. catra about to propose and then chickening out. catra yelling in adora's face. catra digging around in the wreckage of adora's car, somehow unscathed while adora was utterly destroyed. the ambulance ride to the hospital. the doctor glancing up and slowly shaking her head. catra slipping the ring onto adora's cold hand, laying a bouquet of flowers on her grave.

"do you remember her?"

catra let out a choking noise. "i don't want to."

"pull those memories into a tiny, compressed, little ball. and then let the ball unwind slowly."

catra tried. she took a deep breath, and pulled all her thoughts about adora into a tiny ball.

"you can move on, catra. you have it within you. i know you do. you can't obsess over her."

catra released.

bow was right - she did feel better.