Princess {Currently Being Updated}

Chapter 7

I jumped up when someone tried to touch me. A nurse was right across from me looking me over with concern. "I'm sorry, but you can't sleep here. Are you waiting for someone?"

"My mother, Mrs. Harrow? She's?" She's not here? Is she dead? Is she okay? 

The questions were swimming in my head. From what had happened last, it still felt like a dream, a horrible nightmare with a bad aftertaste. 

"I thought so, come with me." She was tan with dark hair, and it looked like she was just as tired and drained as I was. I followed quickly behind her, keeping my eyes focused on the back of her head. She tried to make conversation with me, however I couldn't manage to speak still. A few turns and we were in another room. "You can talk to her for a little bit, but please be gentle. She's still resting."

I peaked into the room, her frail body covered by sheets that were almost thicker than her. My breath caught at my throat. My eyes started to sting again. I was shaking and confused. "Is she okay?"

"I can't say too much now. We pumped everything out of her stomach. We just have to see now if we were in time." She flashed me a hopeful and encouraging smile. She nodded her head and I slowly tiptoed to see my mother. Machines were humming and clicking, noises that made me a little more comfortable. I took a chance and breathed a sigh of relief. Noise meant she was still alive. Her eyelids flickered as I stood by her side and took her small hand into mine. Her dark greying hair was still in it's bun, although a little less unkept. Some of her curly hair was popping out of place here and there. It made my heart heavy to see her like this. She looked so normal, like she was sleeping and nothing had happened. My mother always had that magic, she was my constant when the whole world was changing. The idea of a life without her made me feel naked and scared.

"Why mom?" I whispered. I was doing my best for her. I did everything I could to keep up with the insurance, the bills, everything and anything she mentioned she wanted. I made sure her bed was the best we could afford. I picked up an extra job so she could have cable, something to watch while I was gone. I bought her her favorite novels. I loved her. I stayed up nights by her bed, just talking to her and keeping her company. I paid Mr. Shepherd more money to watch over her. I excelled in my studies. I got a full paid scholarship to the best college in the nation. Why did she want to leave me?

"What did I do wrong, Mommy?" I collapsed in the chair next to me, still holding her hand. I felt like a child. As children, we always do something stupid, something wrong, in the attempt of doing good, like stealing a charm for a present, or getting our Sunday clothes dirty in attempt to get a bouquet for mother's day. I felt that same childhood fear and guilt boiling inside of me. There's something I should've done, I should've known. Something I should've learned. 

I should've stayed home. I never should've accepted that scholarship that made us move. Maybe if I would've taken more off or sick days, this would never had happened.

"Darling are you okay?" the nurse peeked in again, apparently hearing me.

"This is my fault." I looked up at the nurse, shaking. "I did this to her!" 

"No, no, no, no, no, no, honey." The nurse ran to my side and wrapped her arms around me. I needed it. After all, my mother was dying. She couldn't hug me anymore. She couldn't say these things to me. The guilt was overwhelming. I let go of all of my restraint and cried everything out, the pain, the guilt, the regret, and my hope. 

"She's sick, honey." She cooed. "She just needs some extra love and patience."

So what had I been giving her? Was my love not enough? Was my best not enough?

The nurse left me as soon as I calmed down, but I wasn't calm. I just ran out of tears. I felt empty, as if the whole world had been sucked out of me and left me hollow and dark. I heard her whisper to another nurse to get a social worker or something. Someone to help me. I heard 'suicide watch.' They couldn't have helped me even if they had tried. What did they know?

I shifted the chair closer to my mother, took her hand, and propped my head on the steel bar on the edge of the bed. The tears were still coming, despite the fact that I didn't feel anything anymore. I closed my eyes once more, but shot straight up when my mother's hand squeezed mine. 

"Rose" she mumbled. 

"Mom! Mommy! It's me, Bethany!" I cradled her head in my hand, gently coaxing her to open her eyes. My heart raced at the sign of new hope. 

Her wise green eyes peeked through her eyelids, barely visible. "Bethany," she paused to swallow in what seemed to be pain. "Bethany," she croaked again, shaking almost. Her whole bed started to shake as her trembling got worse.

I reached over for the nurse button and slammed it against the wall in a frenzied panic, "Somebody help!"

My mother took my arm tighter, now wide eyed and looking me straight in the eye, "Rose, I'm so sorry!" She cried. Her head was shaking side to side, "I don't want to die." She wailed and moaned, "I don't want to die yet. I take it back! Don't let me go, Rose!" She pulled me closer, putting my hands to her face for comfort.

I was screaming for help and crying, "Mommy, please! You're going to make it! It's okay, I'll always be here." She was scaring me. She was in pain and I couldn't do anything to help. 

The nurse team flew into the room with tools in hand and tried to push me away.

"Mommy! I love you!" I screamed just before the monitor went flat. 

I was pushed out of the room, watching my mother's eyes finally rest. As the life left her, my life left too. I was now just an empty shell with no purpose and all the potential the world could hope for. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

AN:

Yay! Another chapter! I hate to ruin the emotional flow here but there are some good thank you's that are in order.

Many thanks for @KenZ_Dizzy95 's fantastic shoutouts.

And thank you @mykindofcrazy_0901 for making this fantastic cover for Princess!