feelings || yungblud

chapter one

i turn my key through the hole in the front door and slam it behind me, releasing a breath i didn't know i was holding, dropping my bag on the floor.

"tough day sweetie?" my mother rachel asks in her fake tone. don't get me wrong, i love my mum, a lot, but she hates the fact that i can't express my feelings to others yet.

it's not a common thing, felitobia, only three in every 500,000 get it, according to statistics.

if you have the condition, you can only express your feelings above your head to those you trust fully, for me, that has always been my family.

i would say friends aswell but that would be a lie. i'm different you see, i can see everyone's feelings, when they're happy, sad, frustrated, but then there's me. a line. nothing. blank. as if i'm not even part of this society. i'm different and no one accepts me for it. and that is why i have no friends.

everything i do is alone, it's the best way. no one wants to eat with the emotionless girl. well i do feel things but others just can't see it. i still have facial expressions obviously but they can't really tell someone the true way you're feeling. i always smile, even if i don't feel like smiling, i feel the need to, to try and fit in.

"hey laylay" my mum says, bringing me out of my thoughts. i look up, 'worried' it reads.

"i'm sorry mum, just hate being this way, i'm going to sleep, wake me for tea" i say with little to no effort, the word 'confused' floating above my head.

slipping of my shoes at the porch, i walk slowly up the stairs, just wanting some kind of relief from well, being me i guess.

opening my door and seeing my bed puts a smile on my face. i quickly but my comfies on and slip into bed, but not before popping on a movie.

i put on a random rom com, what a great way to spend my evening, moping around dreaming of what my life could've been.

at some point throughout the film i must've fallen asleep as i wake up and see it's 1am.

so much for my mum waking me for dinner. groggily i head down the stairs, food on my mind.

searching through cupboards and finding nothing, i go to just make some fried eggs because why the heck not. ya girl gotta eat something.

in the distance i hear a strumming noise, like a guitar. that's weird, no one has lived in my neighbours houses for a few months now. maybe they moved in yesterday? probably.

knowing my mum she will force me to introduce myself, then will come all the questions about how i live with my condition.

"holy mother of jesus!" i shout as the oil from the pan splatters and burns me.

i just know my feeling had changed, daring not to look at it. it's always scary, seeing as it only happens once per day, whereas with everyone else it's all the time. i remember when i first saw it change and i cried. it was because i thought i was a full feeling mute, which is much much rarer than what i have. a feeling mute is where you will never show any feeling, even around those you trust.

"will you shut up, some of us are trying to sleep" my dad comes mid way down the stairs, with anger shown above his head.

slowly, i walk to the stairs to his feelings change from anger to worry.

"oh lay what did you do?" he says, bringing me into the kitchen where i previously was.

"mum never woke me for dinner dad" i told him and he gave me a sympathetic smile.

me and my dad have always been closer than me and my mum. the only problem is that he has to work at 5am, he leaves at 4am and comes back at 4pm. a 12 hours work shift.

it's only a place on a farm, but he gets quite a lot of money for it. he's a milk farmer, so there's never any end to his job. he gets the weekends off sometimes but even then he spends the time with mum.

"let's run that under the cold tap and i'll put a dressing on it for you" my father says, looking up and smiling. this caused me to look up and saw my feeling had said 'thankful'.

it was true, i really was. this was the longest amount of time i had seen my dad all week and i'm so glad this happened, even if i am injured.

once the dressing was on my red arm, i had ate my eggs and headed back to bed.

after getting warm and cozy, i switch off my lamp on my bed side table, not prepared for the horrible day ahead of me tomorrow.

heyyy, i hope you liked the first chapter! idk how long this fic will be as i've never actually finished one bc writers block is a pain.

okay well i'm awkward so bye, tpwk and stream weird xxx