Christmas's Beauty Within a Beast

12: Jesper Has Depression and a Gosh Darn Crush

(Trigger Warning: Hints of self harm and attempted suicide)

In a blink of an eye, the three men begin a process of making sure each and every child in Smeerensburg gets a toy. Pierre delivers the wish lists children write, Klaus supplies the toys, and Jesper delivers them to each and every house. When it comes to travel, Pierre was happy to supply a makeshift sled pulled by reindeer.

Pierre: I know it might not be much, but I hope that it will make the route less overbearing-

Klaus: It's perfect. Thank you, Pierre.

Pierre: Oh. Um... Of course.

Finally seeing a spark of kindness once in their lives, the children gain the inspiration to spread more around their horrid island. Whether it will be shoveling the eight inches of snow off the walkway or mending for the cranky neighbor's sprained leg, they want to repeat this warmness that saved them from the cold. Pierre sees this and he couldn't be more proud.

Pierre: All of this... It has really changed the outlook of the kids. They were all distant and sad at first, but when we finally delivered those toys, it was like... Their lives are finally complete.

Klaus: (stroking Jesper's fur) That... That is truly remarkable. I never thought my toys could really change so much...

Pierre: Charles has even tagged along with Rose Pines herself! He had no friends nor family until she showed up! Sure, they're out to kill Jesper, but-

Jesper: Great. Of course people still want to kill me.

Pierre: That's besides the point. Everyone in Smeerensburg is a whole lot happier than when I first arrived! (Looks down on Jesper) You know... You don't seem like the type of beast who'll kill someone.

Jesper: Thank you! People are finally starting to get it! Just because I look hideous doesn't mean I'm a murderer!

Klaus: You don't look hideous at all. Just... You look normal for a yeti.

Jesper: Gee, thanks, Klaus.

Pierre: You act more like a cat than a beast, Jesper.

Jesper: And why, out of everything in the world, would you compare me to a cat?

Klaus strokes Jesper's light blonde fur, causing the beast to let one big purr out. Jesper turns and blushes when he sees the mailman smirking, knowing he just straight up proved his point.

Shit. First he gets called a monster, then a cat.

Jesper: Stop looking at me like that! You have no right to judge! Klaaaauuuus! Make him stoooop!

Klaus: (lets out a hearty laugh) But why? You look so flustered!

Jesper's whole face turns red, which he tries to hide by smashing his face in Klaus's animal pelted pillow. He growls in frustration, which is something he, yet again, can't control.

Klaus: Come on out, Jesper. There's no need to hide yourself.

It can't really be heard, but Jesper is still growling. Klaus eventually scoots closer to the beast and gently strokes his fur once again. There is no denying that Jesper loves having Klaus's huge but soft hands rub down his fur. It is so much better than any message he has gotten.

Pierre: You two are so gosh darn cute together!

As Smeerensburg grows into a more stable and happier place, Jesper and Klaus have been getting closer to one another. Whether it'll be delivering the toys, eating their meals, or just watching the snow fall, the two men gradually grow to enjoy each other's company.

How did this all start, anyway? Why did Jesper decide to give Klaus the motivation to not leave the toys in the dust and to send them to the children? Obviously to help the kids out, right?

It's not like Klaus's huge figure, warm smile, goofy laugh, kind personality, and his silky hands do not play anything in Jesper wanting to help him out, right?

Jesper at first wanted to deny it. He never really gained a full on crush on anyone in the past. Therefore, he has had little to no experience with the tingling in his heartstrings and his face going full on red whenever Klaus does something cute. Sure, he has seen a cute guy walking by, but those times are only one-off attractions. Klaus though... He is so different.

It doesn't help that Jesper is staying in Klaus's cabin during his stay in Smeerensburg. His heart is about to burst by just how many times he has seen the old man in his cozy pajamas. Jesper will give just about everything, even his estate, to just to cuddle up with Klaus and be by his side as the fire crackles for all of eternity.

Ever since his mom's death, Jesper felt all alone in the world and at a loss of hope. Everything was like a deteriorating pavement, a sorrowful grey with many cracks. There was just about nothing Jesper seemed to enjoy anymore. Not painting, not delivering mail, not being with Janna and his dad, sometimes not even cutting his skin was enough to sooth the emotional pain.

Jesper had tried everything to try and see the more colorful world up in the sky. He has flashback of that one faithful day...

Ember: Je.... Jesper....?

Jesper is busy tying a sturdy rope into a noose. He could barely hear Janna's soft voice, the only time it has ever gotten soft.

Janna: (taps Jesper on the shoulder)

Jesper: (turns around and jumps, startled) Janna! Wh-What are you doing here?!

Janna: What am I doing?! What the fuck are YOU doing?!

Jesper: It's none of your concern, Janna! Just leave me alone!

Janna: I'm your sister, Jesper! You don't have the fucking right to tell me to not be concerned over you when you're hanging a fucking noose! Don't tell me... Please don't tell me you were doing what I think you're doing...

Jesper: .... I wanted to see Mom.... I just...

Jesper could not muster out anymore words as he falls onto his silk sheeted bed and lets his pillow absorb his tear stained face. Janna immediately pulls her twin brother up and into an embrace.

Janna: Jesper... It is hard for all of us, I know. But Mom... Mom wouldn't want you to commit this. She loves you too much for that...

Jesper: I-I'm sorry, Janna. I really am... I don't want to live like this anymore...

Janna: ... Then don't. Let's go on a carriage ride. That way... You don't have to live your life thinking the world is gray...

Jesper: I guess... we can do that...

Jesper is far from being fully healed. Sure, he hasn't attempt to kill himself recently, but he still brings his knife in case he feels the need to distract himself from the emotional affliction.

But with Klaus... Jesper might just not need the blade for a while. For his world now has a rainbow shining down after countless rainy days.

Jesper admits it. He has a crush on Klaus.