On The Edge

Madison was done running away. For the longest time she thought keeping everything to herself was the best thing to do.  It avoided confrontations, break ups and everything she hated to go through. Since childhood that has been her mantra and it worked if you avoid the fact that she was in support group now due to that very mantra. Madison sighed.

She couldn't sit on it any longer. It wasn't about her anymore. It was about her children. Her doctor was right, she would at least have to tell Kevin about the whole situation. He deserved that.

There were already a series of events happening that shouldn't have happened. She sleeping with her best friend's brother who also happens to be country's most eligible bachelor and a Hollywood movie star, getting pregnant with his twins and then hiding it for so long- it was all so complicated and it could get all the more complicated when she tells Kevin.

She barely knew Kevin but she could imagine his reaction. She just could, somehow. She took a deep breath and let go of the steering wheel from under her sweaty palms. Her palms sweat whenever she became too nervous and if her face wasn't mirroring her nervousness, her sweaty palm really gave it away.

Madison stepped out of the car and took few deep breaths before walking up to the door. Her heart thudded in her chest. With every step she took she felt her courage scattering and leaving her body as her legs started to shake with tension.

She held the door and tried to summon all her courage back and before she lost it again, clicked on the doorbell. She desperately wished she would not find Kevin here. That way she would be satisfied that she tried and wouldn't even have to deal with confrontation. She tried to countdown to calm herself but before she could count to five, Kevin was there holding the door open.

There was no going back now.
Kevin looked on at Madison for a second and then said in his signature style, “Aah! It's really not a great time, Madison.”

Madison moved inside to the decorated home and found it empty. Confused, she asked Kevin about where was birthday boy Baby Jack and everyone else and realized he was in a sour mood as he went on a rant about why he couldn't understand why they need to talk about the situation they have pushed past them. Kevin had already assumed she was here to talk about the little episode of their sleeping with each other, an episode that has changed her life now.

Madison’s heart thumped. She might not have known Kevin a lot but she knew him enough to know he can say some really mean things if he was pressed about something and she could not afford that right now. She had to blurt it out before she lost the nerve.

“I am pregnant, Kevin! You are the father!”

She saw something switch in Kevin. He looked shocked and at loss of words but there was something else too.

Something she was not able to place. It made her worried. Before coming here, she has imagined this conversation in her head hundred times going hundred different ways. But watching Kevin right now, she wasn't sure of anything. She never was but suddenly a guilt surged through her like she was putting him through a drill he did not deserve.

“I am sorry!” it came out of her mouth instinctively.

Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe she shouldn't have come here after all. Her mind raked towards making Kevin comfortable. She hated disappointing people. She wasn't here to be a burden on him, if that is what he was thinking. She knew whom he loved, she knew what he wanted- Madison and her children were never a part of the great love story he was searching for. Her getting pregnant- let alone with twins- was nothing less than a miracle. But her decision to keep the baby shouldn't be any hindrance in Kevin's life. Not if he doesn't want it.

She jumped to reassure Kevin at the first chance that her children wouldn't be a ‘problem' for him or anyone.

“I will not ask anything of you emotionally, financially, all of it. You can still find the great love story you deserve, Kevin.”

“Madison!” Kevin started after such a long pause that Madison thought her life would end in it. She hated pauses so when Kevin took her name she was thankful but her heartbeat started racing frantically.

“I am gonna. . .I am not walking away from this conversation okay, I just need a minute!” Kevin said looking all over the place and so tired that when he said he was gonna pass out, Madison believed him.

“Yeah, Yeah!” she let Kevin walk away.
Just when the door locked behind him, Madison's eyes welled up with tears.

She couldn't hold back anymore. It was one of the hardest things she had decided to do in her life. This wasn't easy for her. Everyone knew Madison as the happy, bubbly, ever enthusiastic woman and she was all of that but underneath anyone hardly ever saw the Madison who was sensitive and caring and was a giver-the Madison who craved a little love.

She knew Kevin's answer deep down in her heart. He was too busy and he had too many plans for his own life for him to fit Madison into his world and yet it broke her a little.

Will she ever find someone who would make place for her in his life?

Her loneliness eat her up sometimes but she knew how to handle it, at least she pretended to do that and was very good at it. But since she has become pregnant, keeping her vulnerability at bay was getting harder. She mentally slapped herself for feeling so emotional.

Just then she heard the door clicking and she quickly wiped her tears with her sleeves and regained her composure.

Kevin came in and sunk in the chair in front of her. He looked older, like he has lived through years in minutes. Madison waited quietly.

“I am so sick of chasing ghosts. I am tired of doubting myself. I am all in, Madison. Whatever you need, I am all in.” Kevin said, putting each word firmly between them. It sounded like a promise to Madison.

A promise Kevin Pearson did not intend to break even though he looked broken himself.

Madison kept looking at him. She had imagined hundred scenarios in which all of this could go but her fear had never allowed her to imagine Kevin would say these words, that Kevin would actually accept.

Madison did not know what to say but it was for the first time she wasn't seeing Kevin as her best friend's brother or the guy she slept with.
He was here to be the father of her children.

He was here for her.

He was all in.

Madison wished she could tell Kevin that he was the first person in her life who had chosen to stay.