Loving a soldier wasn't easy per se, but loving one of the GAR was quite a challenge.
partly inspired by War at hearts by Ruelle. (in italic part of the song's lyric)
Loving a soldier wasn't easy per se, but loving one of the GAR was quite a challenge.
First of all, it wasn't strictly forbidden, but at the same time, it wasn't even encouraged either. Yes, clones could take shore leave from time to time, but it was only for few days or weeks, never enough for you to be together, always in a hurry but making the most of the time you both had.
When your soldier wasn't there, your time was mostly spent working, hoping that it will distract you from the constant fear you had when you see the troops leaving for another mission. Every time you missed him terribly, but every time he came back you loved him more, never want to see him leave again.
Stay with me a little longer
I will wait for you
_____
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There were times when the two of you talked about leaving and never coming back, an innocent fantasy of course, but you noticed how exhausted he was every time and how much he wanted to see you happy, but on the other hand he was loyal to his duties, to his brothers, and you could see how important this was for him too.
You loved him so much, knowing too well that your time together was only borrowed, that each time it could be your last and each time you died inside a little more. You were fully aware of this, many times thinking of ending it all, perhaps egoistically, but when your soldier was there with you, the way he looked at you with such a lovesick expression, when you saw how much affection and love he needed every time he came back you couldn't.
You couldn't take away his only source of peace outside of this whole mess of a war. You want him to be happy with you... forever. Your only hope was for all this to end sooner or later and for you both to end up on a planet far away on the outer rim, away from everything and everyone.
