Beyond the Screen

8

Off sits beside Tay on the small couch with their legs occasionally brushing against each other. Tay seems completely engrossed in the film playing on the screen before them and Off is enjoying himself much to his surprise. Having an argument with Gun had soured his mood about this get -together and he'd contemplated trying go back out on his commitment with Tay but then again, he considered that there could be some truth to the accusations Tay had drunkenly meted out to him a few weeks ago. Off is not selfish by any means but that does not negate the fact that he was not always the most self-aware person. He had just dipped his toes in the lake of love and before he knew it, he was completely submerged with no straws to clutch at. So this was a totally new experience for him. Plus, Krist had be so excited every time Off would feed him a bite or two about his budding relationship with Gun. Sometimes-

"Are you even listening bro?" Tay asks , looking at Off expectedly. The show is paused and Tay is armed with the remote in his left hand.

"Y-yeah, sure man." Off says hurriedly to dismiss any suspicions that he was not listening, not at all, not in the least. He was totally absorbed in his thoughts.

Tay erupts in laughter and Off shifts awkwardly in his position trying to connect the dots...but then he realizes he has no dots and he is, indeed quite clueless at the moment. Tay's laughter gradually simmers down to chuckles.

"What's so funny?" Off asks, unsure of himself and not very curious to know the answer as Tay's face acquires a serious expression and now Tay is looking at him with those intense black eyes that seem intent on penetrating Off's façade.

"The fact that I just casually asked you to kiss me like how the characters Sun just kissed Mork kissed in the show and you ..never hesitated to say yes. So how long have you wanted to kiss me, man?" And all of sudden, Tay loses whenever skill he just had in maintaining eye contact, and Off swears he can feel the heat radiating from Tay's cheeks and it's making him uncomfortably hot. How exactly can he handle this situation?

If Tay finds out that Off was immersed in head space when he should have been basically showering tay with his affection to compensate for being not the most attentive friend, he will be upset no doubt. What Off really thinks is that-

"You're screwing around with me. You didn't say that!" Off nervous laugh fills the room and it doesn't feel so hot anymore, though he can feel remnant of beads of sweat cascading down the sides of his neck.

Tay's eyebrow jerks and he beams a smile.

"You're right." Tay turns back to the tv and aims the remote in an effort to resume watching the show. It's a film about two stubborn male lovers and Off wonders why Tay has subjected him to this tortuous plot. "Though we are literally sitting next to each, you feel so far away." Tay mentions. "Is there anything wrong?"

"No! Not at all. Why do you think that?"

"Just seems like you have your defenses up." Tay says. "Don't worry I have just the perfect remedy for this borderline unbearable social gathering." Tay gets up and heads to the kitchen and Off winces at Tay's unfiltered utterances, sometimes he wishes would at least use less sharp words because sometimes they do a good job and piercing his ego.

While Tay rummages in the kitchen, Off ponders on what he said earlier. He doesn't want to assume the role of the insufferable, unrelatable friend that drains all the life of the party and such. He doesn't want to be that person at all in fact he yearns to be the complete opposite but he seems to be suck in a precarious situation in which he has become overwhelmingly critical of himself and Tay seems to be fueling this new-found insecurity that has been thrust upon him.