LIFE

The First Time

I'll never forget it. It was the end of July. I had finally let Antonio take me out. I know y'all probably thinking I'm dumb but I made up with Jessica. That was my girl! I love her a lot you know! But anyway she came over and helped me find something cute to wear for my date that night!
Me: girl i'm just tryna look good for him!
Jessica: well wear something to show off that nice ass body you got!
She reached in my closet and grab this pretty ass dress! It wasn't too much but it was enough. I got in the shower shaved my legs, lotioned up and put perfume on.

It was about 6 when he made it to my house. I remember because my mother was home from work. She'd always try to keep tabs on me but I was a wild child at this point. Wasn't no stopping or slowing me down. But anyway I went outside and got in the car. He had a pretty little Nissan Altima. But that wasn't why I was with him I just thought he was nice. We went to his sister house and seen his niece. I don't know why I always found a man attractive when he was good with kids.

So we headed back towards my house that's when he stopped in the parking lot of this park across the street from my house. We were talking but he kept touching my thigh it felt nice but like I said I wasn't ready for that! So he began going in my panties and fingering me it felt so good but I kept telling him I wasn't doing nothing with him that I didn't want it. You think he gave a fuck? That man climbed on top of me in that passenger seat and inserted himself into me! It hurt so bad! I kept telling him stop, I even began to cry but he didn't give a fuck. I remember him finishing and i felt disgusted. She drove across the street and I got out the car in so much pain and agony. All I wanted to do was scrub my body clean of the dirt he had put on me. I felt so nasty how did I let this happen?

The next day I texted him and said " you hurt me ". He said he thought it was what I wanted and that was never his intentions. He begged me to forgive him so I did. I was too nice! This situation was so crazy because I was trying to wrap my head around it . All I could think was " your suppose to love your first ". So I gave in forgave him and tried to understand him.

That's sad right? Trying to understand somebody that wronged me. I couldn't believe myself. This was the second man to scar me but this was only the beginning.