My first and Last ~ Jeno

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"This Fuckin' work is too much..." You groaned dropping your head into your hands as you sighed. Teachers all of a sudden bombarded you with tons of work, sending you straight to insanity. You were on the verge of crying at this point. it's 12 AM and all you wanted to do was sleep and see your best friend.

Your best friend, man, the amount of times that boy saved the day. Time after time he averts your anxieties and somehow makes them disintegrate.
Jeno
He was so sweet, a tall guy. Compared to your shorter self he towered over you always, looking down at you with a closed mouthed, moon crescent eye smile as he always did. He always let you have your tantrums and rants and he was such an amazing listener. He'd let you pour your heart out to him for years. You met him in one of your classes in freshman year. Biology, his notes weren't always neat but they always were to the point and always had the precise information that he needed. Much like his mind that wasn't always so organized. There was a lot hidden in that mind of his.
Most people who are quieter have all the noise in their heads. He still had clear goals and ambitions. He loved to sing and dance. He hoped to go somewhere with that. You liked to sing too. He was in choir with you and you both decided to join the school musical if the other did, so, Beauty and the Beast you were....

It was shocking when you two found out you had the leads. This led to the most amazing friendship you've ever had in your life. You two were already close but being together backstage and during rehearsal created an irreversible knot to your friendship. Since then you've become two halves of a whole idiot. There was no separating you two. He was your honeybee. Sweet and soft and he pierced your heart with his stinger. Though, something was weighing heavily on your chest lately. Through years of laughs, sobs and standing on your tippy-toes trying to reach something he held over his head... you realized that you loved him, more than you ever loved anyone in your life. You couldn't bare living without him and the thought of you even spending the rest of your life with someone that wasn't Jeno devastated you. His image was etched into the back of your eyelids when you fell asleep and when you saw him through teary eyes bursting through your door with Doritos yelling your name, you jumped, your soul nearly leaving your body.

"JENO WHAT THE FUCK?!" You threw your arms out and wiped your eyes trying to hide your anxious tears.
"Woah- Sorry Gabby...I didn't—Are you okay?" He immediately realized the sincerity in your voice instead of laughter. "No I'm not okay this work is insane and who even let you in anyway?" You sighed and tied your hair up into a bun looking at him with an annoyed expression.
His face dripped of sympathy and he frowned sitting on your bed facing you as you laid your head down on your arms facing the side where he was. "John did. You know, your brother? Do you forget you live with other people? Are you losing that many braincells?" He bit a chip and furrowed his eyebrows in fake worry. You huffed as a lame attempt at a laugh. Jeno was funny. He wasn't all serious and quiet. Especially with you. His closest friend....
He tilted his head and tried to feed you a Dorito but you shook your head and denied it with a "mm-mm". He sighed and ate the chip.

Your brain spiraled with all of the due dates, the stress of school lately has had an effect on your self esteem and confidence and you didn't want Jeno to know. He was protective of you. Always wanted you to be safe and happy. This didn't stop you from being real with him but you just didn't want him to worry this time. Especially when one of the reasons you put yourself down was...him.

He would hate to hear that but it was true. You were in love with Lee Jeno and you believed you weren't good enough for him. You heard the stories of girls who liked him and fawned over him in the lunch line or tried texting him. Helping him avoid girls he didn't reciprocate feelings for was a frequent ritual of yours. Your biggest fear is him getting into a serious relationship. You've witnessed him in the talking stage with a girl for a little and you despised every minute of the weeks that it lasted. No girl was enough for him. No one would love him like you did. He was your world. The world orbited around his laugh. His deep voice reverberated through your veins when he woke up in your bed after a sleep over as he would call your name to wake you, and his hands holding yours was when you were happiest.  Jeno had had you in the friendzone forever. There was no getting out of this one. You weren't enough. Especially with him becoming a trainee for SM. That huge
k-pop company. You were so happy to see his dreams come to fruition. You knew he had to leave at some point though. Leave your everyday life where you would text him to pick up fast food and come over with it and watch Tangled as you ate. He would eventually have millions of fans. Girls who want him just as much as you do. Paparazzi stalking him in search of a girl he could be with. Could you even survive that if you were actually with him? We're you worth all that to him?
And so you broke down. It was all too much. Other than that you knew the stress lately made you gain some weight out of stress eating and because of the food you ate you started breaking out. You felt like absolute garbage. And as always, as if it was well rehearsed choreography he grabbed your arms and lifted you on your feet and gave you the safest hug you've ever felt. Jeno's hugs never failed to be reassuring. Reminding you he won't leave you.. he'll always be there. Right?

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