Drift Away

Apparently when I get bored during quarantine, I write shitty fanfics for ships that hardly anyone but me ships.

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Gone.

Everyone was gone, and Russia had never felt so alone.

Lithuania had been the first to leave. He hadn't even looked back, and that had hurt. Didn't their time together mean anything to him?

Moldova had left next; then Estonia and Latvia had left together.

Ukraine and Belarus had stayed longer, but even they'd left eventually.

Even Belarus, who Russia had thought would stay with him no matter what. He still remembered her retreating figure.

He just didn't understand why.

They were all his friends; they were happy together, so why would they all leave? Wasn't being one with him what Belarus had always wanted?

"Because you hurt them, Vanya," Vietnam said one day when he brought this up to her. Her voice was quiet and even, her face solemn. "That's why they left."

Russia froze. No, that wasn't right. He hadn't hurt them—not more than was necessary, anyways. He'd just wanted them to all be happy together, and that couldn't happen if they kept resisting.

Except they had kept resisting, and they'd all left, anyways.

Maybe Vietnam was right. Maybe he'd—

"Did I hurt you, too, Lien?" he asked. "Are we still friends? Are you going to leave me, too?"

Vietnam blinked.

"No, you didn't hurt me," she said. "Of course we're still friends. I'm not going to leave."

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Despite her reassurance, Russia didn't see her very often anymore.

His country was a mess; his economy was weak, and his military was so pathetic it could barely even handle suppressing a rebellion in Chechnya.

He was trying to reach out to Europe and America, with mixed success.

"You're avoiding me."

Russia turned to see Vietnam; nations were filing out of the meeting room, but she was gazing straight at him.

Her face was as impassive as ever, but her dark eyes seemed sad.

"Nyet. Of course I'm not, Lien. Why do you say that?" he said.

"We hardly talk anymore," she said. "When we do, it's about Vietsovpetro, or debt, or the Cam Ranh Bay problem."

Russia smiled at her.

"Lien, I have my hands full. I'm taking care of things at home," he said, fighting to keep the cheery note in his voice. This wasn't entirely true. "Besides, hasn't Vietsovpetro been a success?"

His boss wanted to pull away from Southeast Asia, and move towards the west. Russia was frequently reminded that Cam Ranh Base was a burden these days.

His boss wanted him to leave behind Vietnam, no matter how much Russia himself didn't want to.

"That's not the point. You asked me if we were still friends," Vietnam said. "It's good you're trying to make other friends, but that doesn't mean we have to stop being friends."

Vietnam was branching out now; she was part of ASEAN, when previously Southeast Asia had shunned her. She was even talking to America again—and while that made him feel resentful, even if he was getting along with America better, too.

"Ivan?" she said. She'd used his whole first name—he tried not to focus on that. Or on the fact that there was a slight waver in her voice. "You still want to be friends, right? Say something."

He remembered befriending her back in the fifties; how grateful he felt that she wasn't afraid of him, that she didn't think he was a monster.

"We're friends now, da?" he'd said. "So just call me if you need help, and I will crush your enemies ! Then I will make them my friend . Everyone will be my friend eventually."

She had, indeed, called him; when she attacked Cambodia—

"He was killing my people, Vanya," she'd said. "I wasn't going to let him get away with that."

"I will support you," he'd responded cheerfully. "We'll make him bleed."

He'd done so as long as he was able to.

And even earlier, when America had invaded—

"America's sticking his nose where it doesn't belong. And it's not just him. South Korea, Philippines, Australia, and Thailand, too," she'd said, spitting out Thailand's name like it was venom. She'd told him about their long and bloody history.

"I have you covered," Russia had said, "We'll snap that capitalist pig in half. And the others, too, of course. You are my friend. I will protect you."

And he had; they'd crept through the jungles together, covered in muck, soaked in blood.

"I've always wanted to live somewhere warm like this," he'd commented, as if they weren't in the middle of a war.

Vietnam's eyebrows had furrowed slightly, and she'd stared at him, uncomprehending.

"Why?" was all she'd said.

"My home is cold and harsh," Russia had responded. "It keeps anyone from visiting me. But if I lived somewhere warm, my friends could visit all the time."

He remembered smiling as they won, holding Vietnam's hand as the invaders left. Vietnam's face had been unchanged, but she'd assured him she was happy. He'd supposed she'd forgotten how to smile; he'd just have to show her.

He'd protected her then, but she didn't need his protection anymore. And in his current state, he wouldn't be able to protect her, anyways.

Besides, wasn't he lucky she'd stayed with him this long, instead of leaving him?

Just like everyone else.

But he didn't want her to leave, he wanted her to stay with him forever—

But that would anger his boss, and Russia knew from experience what angering his bosses could result in.

So Russia remained silent, even though it made his heart ache.

Vietnam's face fell; it was just a twitch of her face, and if he hadn't known her so well, he wouldn't have picked up on it.

Russia ignored the guilt settling in his gut.

Without another word, she turned and swept from the room; he watched her go, not saying a word, even as tears pricked in the corner of his eyes.

She deserved better than him, anyways.

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Vietsovpetro is a joint Russian-Vietnamese expenditure for oil and gas exploration.

Cam Ranh Base is a naval base in Vietnam that was used by the Soviet Union during the Cold War. Moscow regarded it as burden in the years right after the dissolution of the USSR.

Yes, more countries than the US and Vietnam participated in the Vietnam War.

ASEAN was actually created in part because of Vietnam's attack on Cambodia. Vietnam joined in 1995.

In the nineties, Russia pulled away from Southeast Asia and focused its attention on forming relations with the West. However, the distance in the Russia-Vietnam relationship didn't last, and in modern day, they're close again.