We Band Together

Chapter 1

"So, Emma, how are you doing today?" I stare at Dr. Samuels's clock, willing the minute hand to move faster on the clock.

"Fine." I mumble. I lean back in my chair, crossing my arms. Finally, after what feels like an eternity of sitting in silence, the clock beeps.

"Alright, Emma, your hour is up." He sighs, frustrated that he didn't get me to talk. Instantly, I shoot up out of my chair, leaving the room.

"Hey skeleton!" I turn around, my hair whipping my face, to be looking at Leo Roth. Usually, I would be mad at the names and insults regarding my disorder, but from Leo, it was nothing but a friendly insult, and its okay, because I give it right back to him.

"Hello, peg leg." He laughs, wheeling over to me.

"That was one of your bad ones, Skinny Minnie. Seeing how, I don't have a peg leg, only half of one." I smirk at him. See, when you live in a hospital, this stuff doesn't bother you. You can complain about blood tests and nurses, and people will understand. You can make joke about your condition or your illness and people will laugh, not at you, but with you. I've been at Ocean Park Hospital since I was eleven. I was diagnosed with Anorexia. I'm sixteen now, and have made no progress. If anything, I'm getting worse. Eating makes me feel gross, like if I eat one bit of food, I gained fifty pounds. When I first came here, I didn't have any friends. There wasn't really anyone to be friends with. Then Dash came along with his cystic fibrosis and we started hanging out, he was my first friend here. Next came Leo. Leo Roth, the cancer kid. He had osteosarcoma in his right leg. They started with the amputation, then radiation, and then chemo. Now they are waiting to see if the chemo works. Next came Charlie. We aren't really friends, I don't know him personally, but he is a fellow Red Bender. He was in a car accident with his dad. He smacked his head on the dashboard and is now in a coma; and has been for the two months. Jordi and Kara came about three weeks ago. Jordi has Ewing sarcoma and has to start chemo, and Kara has a bad heart. Even if she has one.

"Ha-Ha very funny. So why are you stalking me at my therapy session?" I ask him, going behind his wheel chair and pushing him towards my room.

"Well Jordi, Dash, and I are going to eat lunch with Ruben. We were wondering if you wanted to come."

"Can't leave my room for meals remember?"

"Oh, that's right, I'm sorry Emma I-."

"Hey- it's fine. Don't worry about it." I smile at him. We had arrived at my room. Waiting outside of the door, Leo's eyes were staring into my soul.

"Why don't we have lunch with you in here?" he asks suddenly. I fix the hat that I was wearing, which just happened to be the one Leo gave me the day we met, and shrug.

"Whatever you guys want to do. I don't mind either way. Kara will probably be down here soon anyways, so..."

"Why would Kara come down for lunch?" Leo asks. I bite my lip, I hadn't told him that part yet.

"Uh..."

"Why is Kara coming down for lunch, Emma?" he asks, leading me into my room and hopping over to my bed.

"Emm-." Leo starts to ask me again, but I interrupt him.

"They were going to give me a feeding tube Leo! A freaking feeding tube! I couldn't do anything else! Kara wanted my lunch on the first day she was here, so I gave it to her. I... I can't have a feeding tube Leo. I just can't. I won't."

"So you haven't been eating for the past three weeks and the nurses think you are?"

I shake my head, "I don't think Nurse Jackson believes me, but she doesn't say anything."

"Emma, you have to eat something. When Kara wasn't here you were at least eating one or two bites but now you're not eating anything! They are going to release you and you aren't going to have Nurse Jackson, or Kenji, or Brittany weighing you every week and preparing nutritious meals! They are going to think you have recovered and you haven't! What are you going to do then, Emma!?"

"I don't know Leo, but I am not using a feeding tube. You remember what happened last time. I can't believe you aren't supporting me on this! I am fine, I'm not dying, I haven't fainted, I'm just Not. Eating. Nothing new to you Leo."

I stare at my hideous self in the mirror, the thin feeding tube going into my noise from the drip. Basically, I could see the fat forming in my stomach. With each ounce of liquid that goes in, a pound is gained. With each pound gained, a level of self-esteem is dropped. This- this is what is making me sick. I am here at Ocean Park because I don't want to eat, yet they are forcing food into me. Nurse Jackson had to wrestle me down to the bed so the anesthesiologist could put the mask over my face. When I woke up, there was a tube in my stomach. Great right? Like waking up from a nightmare.

I am gaining weight. I don't want to. There was a reason I stopped eating. Obviously. SO why are they making me? I haven't fainted, I'm not dead, am I? No. So why force feed me and put me in misery. Does it satisfy the people in this hospital? In all honesty, looking at myself in the mirror like this, makes me want to die. I am ugly. The fat in my stomach is still noticeable. The fat in my legs is still there. My arms are flabby, my cheeks filled in, I know this. Being seventy pounds might sound like being super thin, but it's not. Not for me. Being seventy pounds makes me fat.

I turn away from the mirror, disgusted with myself. I walk into my bathroom, removing the tape that held the tube to my cheek. I give a gently yank on the tube, it moves only slightly. Taking a deep breath, I grasp the tube tightly. Giving it another, slightly harder, yank. This time, it hurts. A lot. But more tube is revealed. Progress. I do it again, this time I gag slightly. Taking a final breath, I pull the tube all the way out, gagging, and throwing up all over the bathroom and all over myself. I continue to do this until I feel light headed, probably from dehydration or lack of oxygen. I try to steady myself, and slowly make my way over to the counter trying to avoid the puddles of vomit, to no avail, my foot catches a puddle, causing my to slip and bang my head on the counter on my way down.

"Me, Dash and Jordi are coming for lunch." He says firmly and wheels out of the room. Sighing, I sit down on my bed, taking my shoes off.

"Here is your lunch, Emma." Nurse Brittany walks into my room, carrying a tray that holds the same contents it holds every day, a turkey and cheese sandwich, a bowl of chips, an apple, and a water. She places the food on the table in front of my bed and sits down next to me.

"You okay?" she asks, me. Her calm, young eyes glowing, and her perfect smile looking right at me. I nod, refusing to say anything.

"I heard you had a rough therapy session. Anything you want to talk about?" she asks me.

I shake my head again, pursing my lips.

"Okay! Well if you ever need anyone to talk to I am here, not as your nurse but as your friend as well." Brittany stands up, straightening her hot pink scrubs. Once again, I nod, and quietly remind her before she leaves my room, "Keep the door open please."

She smiles at me, "Of course."