Adore You [Larry AU]

Nineteen.

It had been two weeks since Louis and I had started whatever it was Louis and I had started. There was still no title or clarification for it and the only people who knew (besides us) were Kendal and Gemma. Unfortunately for Gemma, she found out the hard way when she walked in on a particularly aggressive make out sesh in our 'shared' bedroom.

It was killing me, literally eating me from the inside out, to keep it a secret. All I wanted to do was hold Louis' hand or touch him in some way whenever we were together. Except, Eleanor got the privilege of doing that. Still.

*

It was another boring college day in a wet January. And all I wanted to do, which was so unlike the new Harry, was curl up in a corner with a hot drink and read a book. Especially as it was nearly lunch time, which meant watching the Louis and Eleanor show again.

The thoughts of how she kissed him and he didn't brush her off were literally knocked out of my brain when a football flew through the air and hit me. I fell to my knees on the muddy grass, rubbing the side of my head. A whistle blew in the distance signalling it was the end of practise. But I stayed put, like I was stuck to the mud.

Zayn's voice carried over the rain. "Sorry Haz." He jogged past me and patted me on the shoulder and I mumbled a "'S Okay."

Louis jogged over to me and held his hand out to help me up. I took it and stood up in front of him, noticing all the droplets of rain running down from his fringe to the tip of his nose. It took everything in me not to lean forward and kiss them away. He smiled at me, like he could read my mind, and turned away to walk inside. I followed him slowly, not even remotely bothered that I was getting wetter and wetter.

Louis stopped when he reached the door, waiting for me. Everyone else was long gone and I noticed his eyes on my muddy knees. I looked down to them and sighed.

"I can cover for you if you want to take a quick shower?" I nodded, reluctantly. We slowly made our way to the changing rooms and we waited till they were empty.

I stripped my kit off as quickly as I could and stood under the hot stream of water. It felt so nice, like I was also washing away the string of thoughts I was having outside. Like the Eleanor anxieties were swirling right down the plug hole and disappearing forever.

The shower door made a noise behind me and I flung around, unsure of what I should cover first. Louis emerged through the steam letting in a cool breeze. He pushed me roughly against the cold tile wall and let his lips kiss me passionately.

"Lou..." I giggled into the air as his lips kissed down my neck. "What if someone came in?"

He sucked on the bit of skin between my neck and torso before pulling away, smirking at me in a devilish sort of way. "Door's locked." I had no idea how he had managed that but I didn't have the words in me to ask any more questions. He brought his lips back to mine and we carried on making out, in a sloppy, desperate and passionate sort of way.

It was taking everything in me to stop my hands from wandering. I wasn't sure if he was completely naked or not, and I so desperately wanted to check. But I wasn't sure if that's what he wanted. So I kept my hands gripped to his torso. I was sure I was leaving nail prints in his back with how hard I was pressing into him.

No time at all passed before he pulled away. He moved back in to kiss me lightly on my nose, forehead and chin before leaving me alone in the shower. I noticed as he sauntered away he was naked, and I got a glimpse of his perfect bum leaving me to shower in peace.

*

Louis and I finally made it to the canteen, after drying off and getting dressed. I still felt like I was floating from what had happened. But I crashed and burned back to the ground when Louis sat next to Eleanor.

She was sat on the table, with her feet on the bench, her back to us, and anyone else who entered the canteen. Louis moved to sit beside her and I watched in utter disbelief as she kissed him then pulled away to run a hand through his wet hair. Of course she didn't even flinch since it was raining outside, how was she to know we had just shared a shower? He pulled a cute face back at her, his nose scrunched up before they fell into a conversation.

I didn't even sit down. I turned on my heel and marched away. I wasn't sure where I was going. Home? To a quiet place to have time alone? To my next class being really early?

I had no idea, I just let my feet walk.

The next thing I knew I was in the car park. My thoughts were racing and whirling till this point, so I wasn't 100% sure why I was here specifically, or what knocked me back to sense. I blinked in the natural light of the day and trudged a few steps further, in the direction of the gate.

"Harry!" I stopped and turned around to Louis' familiar voice, realising that must have been what pulled me from my trance. He was running, making puddles splash up his legs. He halted to a stop right in front of me and for the second time today I watched as droplets fell from his fringe down to his nose.

"Where are you going?" I turned to look at the gate behind me then back at his worried face. "I don't know...just...away."

"Why? Don't you have Psych next?" I scoffed at him and he recoiled a little bit before slicking his fringe back to the rest of his hair.

"Because I just can't sit there and watch you with Eleanor, I can't do it." My voice was raised and I could feel my chest rising and falling in a familiar way. I wasn't sure if I was going to cry, or have a panic attack. I noticed then my arm was raised and pointing in the direction of the canteen, as if he didn't know who Eleanor was.

His face fell and he looked to his feet. "I'm sorry...I don't know what to do."

"What do you expect me to do...or think? One minute you're all over me you're showering with me, kissing me. The next you drop me and you're all over her, in front of me." Crying. I was definitely going to start crying. Or maybe I already had, it was hard to tell with rain running down my face. I only knew because my voice broke at the end of the sentence.

I sucked in a harsh breath before continuing. "I feel like...like some side piece. Like you're using me and no matter what you will go back to her. That I'm some kind of option or... or experiment for you to work through something." I couldn't take it and turned my back on him. I carried on walking out the gate, running my sleeve across my face to catch the tears.

I heard footsteps behind me, then a hand on my shoulder. Louis appeared in front of me, stopping me in my tracks. His eyes were darting between me and something behind me.

"Look, come with me." He took my hand and started jogging through the car park. I picked up my pace to keep up with him and he led us to his car. He opened the doors and we climbed in. I felt sort of bad about getting his seats wet.

"I'm sorry. I...I'm just sorry." He breathed the words out and suddenly I felt guilty. He was going through something confusing and I wanted to be there for him, not screaming at him. But I wanted to be there for him as a boyfriend, or a friend I guess, not an option.

As if he read my mind he broke the long silence. "You are not an option Harry." It felt weird to hear him use my full name, and not the endearing nickname he had created and passed on to all his friends. "Let me take you somewhere, wherever you were marching off to." I nodded and licked my lips in thought.

"Home. I want to go home."

He started the engine up and drove me, in silence, to my flat. When we arrived he switched the engine off, as if he was stopping with me. I sat with my eyes fixed on my front door.

He let out a sigh. "I can fix this Harry. Will you let me?"

"Okay."