A change of key

Chapter Two

All of a sudden i was somewhere else, it was like that harsh wind had picked me up and carried me into the night sky. There were stars there, so bright that they could blind me and so close that i could touch them. They were so beautiful. I've always loves the stars, the way that they shine and they fact that they are constant. A star dying is a rarity and chances are that somewhere in the universe as one star dies another is born. I mean im no big space buff, but i like to think thats how it works, the universe gives and takes. I reach out in front of me, trying to reach the glimmering mass in front of me, its bright purple light visible even when i close my eyes, but when i finally get it, when my hand is wrapped securely around my own star, something happens. The lights start to go out. All around me stars flicker and die until there is nothing left, only me and the abyss.  I was surrounded by a deep black nothingness that seemed never ending, and as screamed into the darkness for someone to help me i held out my hand, to use my last shining star to guide my way home. But my star wasnt glowing anymore, it was just a shell now, an empty vessel but it glowed in its own way, like a diamond that shimmed as it slipped through my fingers and into the night sky.

A deafening noise surrounded me, it had started quiet and it got louder and louder as each star went out, and now its just me and the noise. A dull repetitive sound that wont quit, and it feel like its doing something to my brain, changing me somehow. Finally i landed in the comfort of my bed, with the incessant noise that i come to recognise as my alarm clock. I snooze it, whats 5 more minutes in the grand scheme of things really? I'll just have to skip cereal this morning. To be fair i skip cereal most mornings. I don't want to move yet, my bed is comfy and my dream had been so good. It had felt so real, so much more real than the real life that i was living right now, and so much more fun. 

I was finally shaken from my hazy state when my phone began to ring, at first i thought it was the alarm again but when i tried to snooze it i heard my boss screaming at me from down the phone line. Fuck!  Apparently i had overslept, he said something about it being the 7th time in 2 weeks that i had been late to work, and some other stuff to lecture me but by then i wasnt really listening anymore, i was already out of bed and attempting to get ready for the day ahead. The day that i was already hella late for. The whole 5 minute thing never works for me, i dont know why i always try it!
"I'm on my way sir, traffic is hell but i'll be there soon"

I have a headache already, i cannot wait for this day to be over already. When i finally get into my car traffic is a dream, its probably something to do with the fact that everyone else was at work 45 minutes ago. When i finally make it to work I run straight to my desk. Only 20 minutes from wake up to work, that may be a personal best! To be fair though i know im going to be sat here for at least the next 5 minutes trying to catch my breath, so im not really sure if that should be included in my arrival times. 

Anyway, i dont have much to be doing today at work, I check my emails, listen to my voicemails, theres nothing important really. So i get up Netflix on my phone and start watching Gilmore Girls for the 5th time. Im up to that part where Rory meets Logan and he helps her to have fun again! She gets to focus on something other than school work, her family life, her real life. I've always been jealous of how easily Rory Gilmore gets guys, they fall at her feet and they're all such amazing guys with different personalities, all of which manage to compliment hers in uniquely different ways. I love getting lost in other peoples stories, other peoples worlds. 

You see, my life isnt exciting. My life hasnt ever been exciting. I'm 19 and i live alone. Me and my mum dont really get along and my dad isnt around that much, not to sound like a complete cliche but hes found himself a new family. I was exceptional in primary school, thats when they were both proud of me, there wasnt anything i couldnt do. But they got divorced when i was 11, which could possibly be the reason that i was only mediocre in High School. I found things difficult, i just couldnt understand stuff the way i used to. Then i flunked out of sixth form, well i say that but i really just quit before i ever even got chance to fail, which is probably worse and something i came to regret in the future considering i have little to no qualifications. After dropping out i had to do something, its a legal requirement now for those under 18, so i got an apprenticeship. I did business and admin and i work 9-5, Monday to Friday in a dead end job. So here i am, pushing 20, having done nothing with my life and stuck in a boring job that i dont think ill ever escape and i certainly wont ever enjoy. 

I live day by day. You get through one day, its difficult, your alone and you know youre nothing special, but you get through that day. Then you wake up again and do it the next day, because really there isnt any other option. Its what you have to do and its what i do, and ive gotten used to it. Make it through one day, make it through the next and so on and so forth. 

Sometimes i daydream that big things will happen to me, important things. Like Clary in the mortal instruments, she thinks shes normal, just like a regular girl living in New York, then it turns out shes actually in the middle of this magical world filled with adventure, danger and romance. She gets swept off her feet by it all. That's what i want, to have something more and to be something more. But i've come to terms with the fact i have what i have and i am what i am. I've aged out of all of this chosen one business, nobody ever chooses the 20 year old, they want the 16 year old, young and spritely and full of imagination. I feel like it can push 18 at the oldest, but thats it, never the 20 year old with the dyed hair and a possible binge drinking issue. I am pretty sure that i have aged out of becoming a slayer, and if my dreams have anything to say about it i would have been a KICK ASS slayer. 

But like i said, work was uneventful, big shock there, and when 5 o'clock finally rolled around i couldn't wait to be finished.