My Tragic Happy Ending

Chapter VIII: The Funeral Wedding

On Carol's funeral mass, we are all wearing white as Cedric requested.

Everyone who should have taken a part on their wedding entourage wore the dress or coat that they must have wear.

Mourning pins are over our corsages and handkerchiefs. The church is even set for a wedding with the flowers are decorating the aisle.

And in the arcs of swords we made our entrance in the same order and manner as we should have in the nuptial.

The wedding march was played by an orchestra. But this time, it is the sad mourning arrangement.

The flower girls held a white rose instead of a basket full of petals and laid it on her coffin.

The ring bearer brought an empty ring box.

And when I glance at Cedric's hand, there one of the rings already is. Carol may have the other on her finger by now.

The treasure bearer brought a little silver and gold crucifix and a rosary made of black pearls and white gold instead and laid it at the middle of white petals on her coffin.

If it wasn't for her coffin, it could have been a wedding.

Her parents dedicated a eulogy.

Cedric did

His parents did.

Stephanie did.

Now, it was down to me.

I don't know if I can find the words that will match my grief and pain and how much she means to me but I still stand and walk to the podium.

From there, I can see the grief on everyone's face. I can see how many drop of tears are falling in every second, how many handkerchief are damp with those and how many people are still dumbfounded by her early lost.

I can do nothing but to stare at those and say what I wanted to, what Carol means to me.

"We lost a pure-hearted. We only have a few and now, we lost one of them. This is how tragic her death is."

I paused and breathe in some air. I can feel my heart is about to stop beating. The pain is just too heavy to handle.

"Carol is a dear friend to me. She's a great companion. I'm so blessed to be with her, to live with her, to know her since childhood. I am so privileged.

"I remember those hard days when our parents died in a car accident three years ago. She's in there to help us get through it.

"We never expect such a tragedy. An accident where four people died? Who would have thought? My parent's are just driving with Steph's to a business trip. They said that they will just be gone for days, but they have been gone forever.

"Now, they are together. They are all gone to us forever. I still can't imagine this life. The grief of my parents' death is renewed. I'm still bleeding, over again, but this is far worse than before.

"She's still young but then... We can never really tell. We can't just have all things in our hands. We can't turn back the time and be with them again.

"If I could, then I would have it back to the times when we are still young, when we are watching the night sky. She love's the stars, now she belongs with them.

"Why should someone like her die in that way? If it is because of sickness, an epidemic, an accident, a nightmare, a heart attack, I would have understood! We would have understood.

"Why should she end this way? A murder? A bloody murder? So horrid! So unjust for such a good and sweet young lady!

"If I could just turn back the time, I would have stopped it even if it cost all of mine. But as I said, I cant, we can't, and nobody can do it.

"My favorite Psychology professor said when my parents died, no matter how good I may become, I can't have power over a person or their mind or their action or their fate or their death.

"She stressed out that such things are beyond man's control. Such things are only for God to handle. And the only thing I can do, or we can do is to accept it and have faith in God's master plan.

"Then, I can't understand it and now...

"I can't accept it.

"Somehow, I still believe that I can make a change for Carol in someway, someday. But as for now, all I can do is to help on giving her the justice she deserves."

I look at the crowd. They shed more tear now and sob more.

It's been three day now but it still feel the same as the first time I saw her lifeless for me and for most of them.