√ mask off | lee haechan

11

You woke up early, despite arriving home quite late. Your mind couldn't be at peace, remembering Haechan and his dad's conversation. You sat there at the edge of your bed, grasping your hair.

Should I leave? Now? Later?

You know Haechan would be home soon and you haven't made up your mind about how to handle this.

Truth to be told, you don't even know if Haechan needs you anymore. You want to be there for him but you are afraid if you are just a bother to him.

You can manage your own feelings, even if it'll take forever. As long as Haechan doesn't have to go through a hard time.

Your head turned to your phone on the bed when it rang. Haechan.

You sigh, please don't make it harder for me.

You left your phone ringing on the bed, as you picked up your towel and went for a shower.

As the warm water hit your body, you felt your muscle relaxed. You could still hear the phone ringing softly but you needed time. You need time to grasp what will happen in the future between both of you and what you need to do now.

Leaving really sounds the best idea but you have no other place beside here, Haechan's home.

Where would you go if you leave?

You don't even go to work anymore and you obviously have no money. You have been depending on Haechan ever since he said he'll take care of you, of anything and now, you understand why he did that. He's afraid if you run away from him with the money you have.

You step out of the shower when you think it has been too long you are in there, just thinking. You changed into your purple hoodie and grey sweatpants. You look around the house, messy and unclean since both of you haven't been cleaning ever since Jisung went to LA.

You carried the dirty mugs and bowls into the sink and grabbed the vacuum cleaner. It is the best activity you can do now, to distract your mind from thinking about Haechan now. Honestly, you are tired and all you want is to spend your time with Haechan.

But of course, you can't now. He doesn't belong to you anymore.

Time flew as you were washing the dishes and you heard the keypad of the door as a sweaty Haechan came rushing in.

"Yoojin, yoojin," He panted as he looked around, searching for you and he relieved a sigh of relief when he saw you standing there shocked in the kitchen, looking at him with wide eyes. He immediately went to you and engulfed you in a hug, one hand stroking the back of your head and another, holding you close by the waist.

"Hae-Haechan, what's wrong," You stuttered, taken aback with his state.

"I thought you left, I thought you- No, please stay with me," Haechan begged. He pulled away and you could see the sweat running down from his sideburn. You reassures him with a small smile as you wipe away the sweat off your sleeves.

"Why would you think of that suddenly?" Guilt wash over you. He totally could read your mind, even when he didn't know that you know about the current situation both of you are in.

"You won't pick up my calls and didn't text me back. You scared me," His lips form a small pout. You look at his lips, you know, he just wanted you to kiss it away like you always did. Your eyes averted to his eyes back back, avoiding to kiss it away.

"Sorry, My phone was on silent. Let's eat, I ordered some bibimbap for lunch." You said, as you tried pulling away from him. He sensed something as he pulled you back into his arms.

Please don't make it hard for me.

"You are acting weird, are you okay?" Haechan asked, his frowns grow deeper in his forehead.

Don't ask me when you are the one that is not okay.

"Weird? No, I'm okay," You smiled but Haechan didn't buy it. "Tell me, I know you are not okay. We've known each other for so long, baby." Haechan saw how your eyes were sad, they were almost as if telling him to hug you, to kiss you, to shower you with love.

You are the one who should be telling me everything. We've known each other for too long that we can read each other easily now.

You push him away, afraid that if you stick to him longer, you might want to stick with him forever. "I said I am fine Haechan, let's eat. I'm starving." You turn your back to him as you walk to the dining table. Separating bibimbap into two, so Haechan could have some.

Haechan's heart was beating furiously, am I going to lose her for real?

Haechan keeps on glancing at you and you catch it every time, making him look away almost immediately. You sigh, putting your bowl on the table back.

"Haechan, you know secrets break trust right, your face really telling me you are keeping secrets from me,"

You want him to tell you by yourself. You want him to tell you he is in an arranged marriage. You want him to tell you whether you should stay or go away from him. Suddenly, you are ready for everything he'll say.

Haechan looked as if he was caught, he also put down his chopstick, going back and forth to tell you or not. He doesn't want to marry a girl that he's totally not into when he has you by his side. He wants you by his side, but let him fix this first. But, he's just afraid of what you'll do when he tells you.

Haechan bit his lips as he lowered his head, looking at his lap.A voice whispered in his ears. Trust her, tell her that you need her by your side. Tell her, you could fix this.

"My dad, he is confirmed with a brain tumor," Haechan sighs and you are shocked to hear this. You didn't expect his dad to have this illness but you kept quiet to listen to him more. He raised his head to look at you in the eye.

"And he wants me to settle as the CEO quickly.He wants to see me handling his company." You could see how he gulps nervously as you waited.

You have already connected the dots. His father wants a capable woman by his side to take over the company, not just you who are incapable of handling serious issues, big company and most, supporting Haechan with his works.

"Fuck, just-just promise you won't do anything beyond my expectation when you hear this. I- I promise, I'll get this fix," Haechan said as he cups his face in his palms. The nervousness in him was visible and you felt like crying.

Though you are incapable, Haechan still wants you.

"My dad-"

Haechan stopped as his phone rang, and you saw the caller's name flashing on his phone on the table. 'Secretary Yoo'

Haechan sighed, grabbing his phone and smiled weakly at you, "Give me a moment,". Haechan walked to the balcony, closing the door behind you so you wouldn't hear them.

You sigh as you look up to the ceiling, attempting to blink the tears away.

You are going to go through a hard time if you hold onto me, Haechan. I'm sorry.