The Ex Complex

Fine Summer Vibe

The rest of the summer felt like something out of a movie to Zoella. She had a new boyfriend, she was getting her life together for junior year, and everything was all and well. While she had been in the quote on quote "talking stage" with other guys, she had never made it this far with anyone. Most of the guys she ended up talking to would just claim they were together but would rarely talk to her outside of school. She honestly did not mind that towards the beginning of high school though, because she wasn't allowed to date until she was sixteen anyway, and hadn't turned sixteen until the end of her sophomore year. After a while though, as she became older, and had higher expectations from guys, it started to seem "usery" and predatory. Zoella wanted to be fully claimed in public and in private. She longed for attention that was for the pleasure of both her and her partner, not just for the public. With Justin, she felt like she finally had found her wish. Sometimes they would hang out at her house, other times at his house, or they would go out to eat/plan a date. He would cuddle her, and calm her out of her anxiety, and then they would kiss, and eat. A LOT. Zoella did not feel the need to hide her ridiculous eating habits from him at all, and would often times order portions from restaurants that were fit to serve 2-3 people for herself. There wasn't any pressure to make anything extremely serious, or question anything too much. They were what they were, and what they were was just a chill couple. They had each met each others parents, and they were chill with each other too. Zoella was also starting to get acquainted with his friend group, and she enjoyed them as well. Everything was perfect, and Justin and Zoella loved each other's company. One day, while Zoella was at Justin's house, they started making out, as usual. "Zoella," Justin said in a serious tone, gradually pulling his hand out of her hair. "Wassup," Zoella's heart beat began to quicken. "It's August now, and all we've done is kiss." Justin said. Zoella rolled her eyes in her head. "So this is how this is going to end. It's always something." She thought to herself. "No one is ever going to like me for me." Negative thoughts raced through her head, catching up to her quickly to a point where her eyes almost began to water. The past few months alone had been more effort than she had ever put into a relationship/a guy in her entire life. "I just want to spice things up a bit," Justin tried to calm her down, realizing that Zoella felt concerned after she didn't say anything. "What do you mean by that," Zoella said, doing her best to keep her tone level. "Like, for example, maybe you could top me off." Justin's voice cracked. "I would love to try more things, and new things," Zoella told him, which wasn't a lie at all. She always had been there had never been the right time or the right person. "But I have never done that before, and I'm scared of messing up," Zoella admitted. "You see, I'm the type of guy where like... you can learn with me," Justin explained. "A girl gave me head once, and she had never done it before, and it was pretty decent," he began to elaborate. "But I've never given a girl head before. I've never even seen a vagina in person." "Oh, I see," Zoella said, beginning to only feel slightly more reassured. "So do you wanna try it," Justin said. Zoella agreed, and tried to get herself mentally prepared as Justin pulled down his pants. She started to play with it at first, which wasn't unusual for them, and she drank some water. Shaking her hair back, she got down, and went as quickly as she possibly could, assuming that that was what she was supposed to do. She kissed it, and did her best to make it pleasurable. "OMG," Justin said smiling, and Zoella pulled away, and wiped himself off with a towel. "You did a good job," Justin said smiling. Zoella smiled too. She was proud of herself. She rinsed her mouth out, and drank a lot of water. While she was happy, her anxiety was driven up by at least 20% for the next three weeks. She couldn't help but feel some sort of guilt, but had no idea, where it derived from.