What I Couldn't Tell You

Chapter 4 - Calling Your Name

BAKUGOU'S POV

Deku had risen from the table. The others hadn't really paid attention besides pink cheeks who misses nothing when it comes to him. They were best friends or something. Except she was talking to the kid and Iida was clearly exhausted from the day. She had shot a glance towards me as if she somehow knew what was going on. Why he was so upset. It was a look that said fix it. And so, I ran out of the kitchen and out to the street. I saw his dark shadow figure against the base of the mountain and paced myself as I walked towards him.

I wrapped my arms around him, and he didn't bother to turn around. The soap we had used to wash our bodies earlier had made its way to my nose. He was shaking. And so, I waited for him to stop. To catch a breath. And then, I finally said "I'm sorry. Deku, I am so sorry. What we did earlier, I didn't mean to–" He took a step further, but I didn't let go "You don't have to say anything. I'll forget all about it and we can pretend it never happened."

I was pissed. I turned him around to face me and pushed him against the wall of the mountain. I drew our faces closer together our noses nearly touching "I don't want to forget about it, dammit! Do you know how long I've waited? How much I've wanted you?". He was clearly shocked. Even in the dark, I didn't have to see his face to know he was taken aback. "What? Kacchan, I don't understand. What do you mean 'how long'? Kirishima –" I kissed him.

It was rough and short. I pulled back and continued talking. "Dammit Deku, Kirishima and I broke up because I'm in love with you. I have been for years. Before him and I ever –". He was sobbing again. I couldn't stand that I was the cause of it as he choked his words out. "Kacchan, then why were you with him? Why would you wait so long?" He hung his head shaking it as if he didn't believe what I was telling him.

"Son of a bitch, you shit nerd. I don't know! Because I was scared! Because I didn't think I deserved you. And when Kirishima wanted to adopt children it made me realize how much I didn't want that with him." He finally looked up and that's when I put his face in the palms of my hands. "I couldn't with him. And he knew that. He had known for so long. And when he told me that I had called out your name during sex more than once –".

I didn't know what I had been saying anymore. I hadn't meant to tell him that last part. But I knew that I desperately wanted him to love me back. To be mine and belong to no one else. I pulled away. I couldn't look him in the eyes anymore and just stood there not knowing if I wanted to know his answer. "Kacchan." His voice was a silent whisper calling out to me in the dark. It wasn't pained or a chocked-out expression but something calm and soothing.