A Hopeless Echo

Nothing is the Same

        A week has passed since the soccer tryouts and today they are posting who got in the team. Although I am secretly wishing I don't get in, I already know I have at this point, once my soccer coach saw me trying out he told me I was on the team already. 

         "Oliver, good to see you trying out again! You know this team is nothing with you," he said as he set up the field. 

        "Thanks, coach but I have an odd question... like can you pick someone else to be your goalie this year? Maybe one of those small freshmen over there?" I ask pointing to them huddled in the corner. 

        "Them? Son, you make me laugh why don't you want to be goalie this year?" 

        "I mean... I just have a lot of school work y'know me with those AP classes."

        "Wow AP classes? Which ones?" He asks, looking directly at me. 

        "Um AP workshop," I say, scratching my head. 

        "Yeah that doesn't exist, you could have said anything else like AP Biology so nice try but you're going to be goalie again," He says, as he finishes setting everything up. "Okay, guys lets get these tryout started with." 

        Why am I such a dumbass now thinking about it, I really could have said anything else like AP algebra or even AP art but workshop? What the fuck is wrong with me? I hear someone come in the bathroom when I realize I've been on the toilet for way too long. I get out of the bathroom and immediately head back to class. As soon as I open the door, the bell rings and I quickly get my things and head out before my teacher says anything. As I'm walking through the crowded halls, I hear my name being called from behind me. 

        "Oliver! Oliver wait up I have good news!" Kassandra yells through the noisy hallways.

        "Uh I don't know you, I gotta go to lunch have a nice day stranger. Do you guys know who she is?" I ask the group of girls next to me, as they nod. 

        "Oliver, gosh you made me run," she says, as she pushes the group of girls aside. 

        "Ohhh I must have not heard you, anyways what's up?"

        "I've got good news! You got in the team!" She says, handing me the paper.

        "Wow yeah all the guys got in the team," I say, reading through the list.  

        "See I told you to try out and you got in, congrats Oliver!" She says, hugging me.

        As I sit down with my group of friends at lunch, I hear them talk about the usual which is soccer. I see some new girls sitting at the table, which I'm guessing Jacob invited as he always does this. As they talk about their best moments playing, I look to my right and see Kassandra talking with her group of friends, she must have felt me staring as she turns around and waves at me. Her group of friends all turns back to look at me, which is honestly kinda creepy but they proceed to talk while looking back to me. I mean are they trying to make it obvious at this point? 

        "So you and Kassandra huh?" Alex says. 

        "Nah it's not like that, trust me." 

        "Why not? Shes THE Kassandra Abner everyone wants her."

        "Yeah, yeah I know," I say, taking a bite of my sandwich and listening to what the guys are rambling about. 

         As we share a few laughs from the teams we played against before, I suddenly hear the team Noah had been on last year. I remember the first time we played against his team was freshman year, but he didn't join the team till his sophomore year of high school. Although his team lost against ours for the second time, we all went for pizza after the game and that's what started our friendship; us betting on who can make the most hoops in that one basketball game. Everything ended so quickly too... I still can't process how it all happened, most of that day is just a blur. Why am I so fucking stupid? I could have done more, it was my fault I was the one who should have just listened to him. Everything would be totally different if I did, we would still talk every day, we would still share our love for oldies, we would still sneak out of the house to go who knows where and just enjoy life as what it is. I suddenly feel my palms getting sweaty, as its getting harder to catch my breath. Everything around me starts to fade away, as I feel myself falling for eternity. Total darkness. I try to call for help, but nothing, everything is completely still. I'm so sorry Noah... please forgive me. 

        "Oliver! Oliver are you okay?" Jacob asks, shaking me. 

        I snap out of it, as everything starts coming back to me. My eyes are watery as I see all the concerned looks around me. They continue to ask if I'm okay or if I'm feeling sick, I quickly grab my things and start to head out the cafeteria. I burst through the front doors of the school and get in my car, locking the doors. 

        "I'm so fucking sorry Noah. Just please-" I say, as my voice starts to cut off, and my vision starts getting blurry.