𝙜𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙩𝙡𝙮 |ᵗᵘᵖᵃᶜ ˢʰᵃᵏᵘʳ (on hold)

six

a/n: sad shit below

I sat next to my mother in the ICU. She had a breathing tube down her throat. Her chest wasn't even rising or falling as it should. The machine was doing it for her. I stopped sobbing in the car but the crying hasn't stopped at all. I held her limp hand in mine. The doctor had walked in a couple of times but then left after seeing my distressed state. Time flew, and before I knew it Pac's hand was on my shoulder.

"Baby girl we have to go." I turned around and looked up at him with bloodshot eyes and my mother's limp hand in mine.

Then it hit me and a wave of newfound anger exuded from my body. "You knew," I said to him letting go of my mother's hand and standing up from the chair. Pac's face held a little guilt but that wasn't enough for me "You knew, and you didn't even warn me." My tone was venomous, and my eyes welled with tears again.

"Babygirl-"

I cut him off fiercely "Don't baby girl me. You said you were here to protect and guide me. How is not telling me something drastic is about to happen in my life protecting me?" I was getting loud and the tears started to fall down my cheeks again "BECAUSE IT'S NOT. YOU WERE SETTING ME UP TO BREAK DOWN AND THAT'S NOT DOING YOUR JOB." I was ranting and Pac was standing there taking my lashes of uncontrollable emotions. 

Through my yelling, a nurse came in and tried to separate me from yelling in Pac's face. "You lied to me, Pac. That's not fair. You're putting me through hell when I thought you were supposed to prevent it."

The nurse's arms kept pulling me anywhere she could. My arms, the back of my shirt which only aggravated me more. The nurse's arms proceeded to wrap around my torso which caused me to lose it "Let me the fuck go!" I yelled thrashing in their arms. 

"She said to let go of her," Tupac said calmly. The nurse let go and I fell to the floor.

I felt so stupid. I built my walls for a reason and a person comes into my life saying that he could fix it all and I let them down. What did I expect every man in my life had or has a heartbreaking motive that would ruin me. Why did I expect Tupac to be different? This was pathetic. Hell, I'm pathetic sitting on my knees crying in a hospital room next to my vegetable mom. 

Tupac joined me to the floor, trying to comfort my inconsolable cries. He held me in his arms. And I allowed myself to cry in his arms. There were two reasons I cried. First, for the obvious state of my mom. Second, for the realization, I had come to grips with which was my fault. That the worst thing about the whole situation Pac put me in, was that he was the only one who could help me out of it.

a/n: i know it's short don't shoot me.