So close, yet so far

I was walking back home with swift movements. I knew I was very late. The sun was making way for the celestial moon as it slowly sunk from the vast sky, spreading the shades of orange and gamboge around it. I raised my hand to tighten the grip of my mask while my other hand was clutching the medical documents of my patients. Just in one day, in one small city, there were two hundred and fifty people who tested positive for the coronavirus. Well, we thought we had it under control but nope, this had gone way out of hand.

 I was approaching home when there were a number of cops blocking the road. "Madame, you shoudn't be out here, you know. Its the rules of the government" a cop said as he walked towards me with his stick. I slowly lowered my mask and a look of recognition spread over his face. 

"Oh! It's you" he said and walked back. "It's the doc. Clear the road" he screamed to his deputies as his gruff voice echoed through the streets. This was the thing about being a doctor. Doctors were treated special, mostly because they saved lives but during this situation, the cops and us were the only people who were allowed to roam on the streets. In a matter of seconds, they cleared the streets and I again walked briskly since I was in a hurry to reach home. What If my daughter Shanaya wasn't able to complete her assignment? What if my one and a half year old baby Dhruv, wasn't given his milk on time? I knew my husband was responsible and would carry out his errands but being a mother to two kids, I couldn't help but worry. I finally reached my house gates and  and unlatched it. I knocked on the door and I could hear approaching footsteps and the unlatching of the door.

 I saw my six year old girl through the door ajar, standing before me with a wide smile plastered across her face. She leaned to hug me but I retreated a few steps back. "Shanaya! How many times should I tell you to stay away from me" I burst out in rage. Her smile faded into a frown as she sat on the couch.

 Immediately, I was struck with pangs of guilt and sat on the wingback opposite to Shanaya. "I'm sorry baby. But you see, your mommy is a doctor and she works with sick people everyday. So If I come near you, you might become sick too. Does Shanaya want to become sick?" I asked in a kiddish tone as she shook her head. "So if you don't want to fall sick, we should practice....." I prompted her to complete the sentence. "Social distancing" both of us said in unison. "That's right. I'm hugging you so hard in mind right now" I said as she giggled. I walked over to my room where my husband, Abhay was singing my son to sleep. He carried my  son, Dhruv and made his head rest on his shoulders. Abhay swayed from side to side while he was humming a tune while Dhruv looked asleep. 

He slowly laid him in his baby bunker and walked out to see me smiling. "Oh Samaira! you are back already." he said as I nodded. "So how was today?" he asked. I sighed and answered "Well the same. A lot more cases. A few deaths. Tons of people who came for testing just because they had a small sneeze". 

"You need to relax" he said and looked over at Dhruv, who looked fast asleep. I felt a familiar sense of guilt pass through me all over again. "What's wrong?" Abhay asked, reading my expressions. "I guess I am the first mother who never  actually took care of her kids. It feels like I am so close,yet so far" I said as my eyes were glistening with unshed tears. "Are you kidding Samaira? You are an amazing mom. You do what everybody else fears to do. You save lives even in the worst of times. Even if that means isolating yourself from your family. You risk your life for the well being of others" he said . "And before you ask, Yes I have helped Shanaya complete her assignment and Yes, I have given Dhruv his milk on time" he said as I let out a laugh. I began wondering whether he could actually read my mind.  I was so tired that I  could actually collapse.  I walked over to the kitchen where five slices of homemade pizza lay in a tin box. I quickly gobbled up four of them and went to  sleep.  Soon I was drowned in a deep, deep sleep.

Next morning I woke up to the chirping of the birds. I walked to Dhruv's room to find him pawing his blanket with one hand and the sucking his thumb on the other. I was tempted to carry him but the words 'Social distancing' echoed in my ears. So I quickly dropped that thought, walked to the kitchen and ate my sandwich . I quickly grabbed my bag and coat and left the house. On the way to the hospital, I witnessed so many stray dogs looking famished. I fed them a few sandwiches and left for work. When I finally got near the entrance someone caught my eye. 

There was this small girl, about eleven years old who was staring at the hospital lobby from outside.She had a dishevelled appearence and looked like she hadn't had a nice bath for a long time. "Are you waiting for somebody honey?" I asked but she shook her head without uttering a word. I smiled and proceeded. In the lobby, I submitted the medical records and went about my work. After a few hours, I walked to the window for some fresh breeze and to my surprise, the girl was still standing in the same place. Still staring. I paced to the girl. 

"Sweetheart, Is there something I can do for you?" I asked, being careful not to alarm her. She nodded and put her tiny hands into her pockets. She pulled out a few ten rupee notes and held it out to me, her eyes were moist and she looked hurt. I knew she needed help and took her to the lobby. After a bit of friendly banter, she opened up and said "My mom was a maid and that was the only way we used to get money. But now, you have taken her away from me. This money is all I have.  Please take it and let me meet my mom" she said with a choking voice. I was truly moved by her innocence. "What's her name?" I asked. "Sheela" she replied. "Hey Rachael! Search all the records for a name called Sheela" I said to the receptionist. After some wait, "Found it! Sheela has been tested positive" blurted Rachael.

"We have to let her daughter meet her. She is so disturbed"

"Dr. Samaira. You know that isn't possible" Rachael exclaimed in disbelief.

"Please, you can lead her up until the glass partition of the isolation ward. Just do something" I said. Rachael conceded and I led the little girl. She appeared a bit tense at the sight of heavily masked personnel but her desperation to meet her mother was stronger. She saw her mom through the glass. Both of them broke down as their hands met from both sides of the glass. The girl sobbed intensly and all of us were filled with empathy during this emotional reunion.  "Thank you. I am very happy now that I got to see my mom". 

"She will be alright in a few days. You have nothing to worry about" I said. 

"Now, I am not worried. I felt so insecure without her and was badly missing her. I have complete faith in you. You are my angel and I am sure you will heal my mother  and bring her back to me" she said as she handed me a rose. I saw her blur image dissapear down the corridor through my tear filled eyes.

I never saw her after that day but what she taught me always had a place in my heart. I never doubted myself again because there is reciprocity to every selfless act and that comes in ways we dont quite realize. Even though I stay far away from my family, they are proud of me because of what I do. Everytime I see someone that has been cured by my own hands, I feel proud that I was able to shower brightness in someone else's life. This was my story with social distancing. What's yours?

The End