The Thoughts of an Angsty Reading Addict

The Beginning

I have so many different urges and desires that fill up my mind. I want to run out the front door and never come back and I want to lie down on my bed and never get up. I want to scream as loud as I can and I want to never talk at all. I want to tell everyone my problems and I want to never breathe a word. I want to break down and cry and I want to laugh until I can't breathe. I want to fall in love and I want to never love again. I want to have a full social life and I want to avoid everyone and everything. I want to have dozens of friends and I want to be friendless. I want scream from the rooftops that I'm broken and I want to smile and say I'm fine. I want to be famous and I want to be an unknown pariah all my life. I want to be hugged and held and I want to be left alone. I want break every rule in the book and I want to abide by every rule I'm told. I want to chase my friends away and I want to cling to them so hard they can never leave. But most importantly I want to know what I want. I've felt this conflicted my whole life and have spent hundreds of hours reflecting upon my self and in that time I've come to understand a few things. Things that I've decided to share through this book. This isn't a book made to pander to readers nor is it a book that is particularly well written or thought out. This isn't a book that will win any awards or even be anyone's favorite nor is it meant to be. This is simply a book where I've decided to write down my thoughts and share my opinions. I hope none of you do anything as foolish as to think my words, these silly little thoughts made visible through the use of technology for anything but the humble opinions and strange thoughts of a girl who has spent the majority of her life dwelling in the depths of stories as opposed to the disappointment of reality. None of these things I write are important in any meaning of the word. That being said I hope you enjoy reading further should you chose to do so