Pack Mentality: A Wolf Alone

Chapter 10

The idea of a run with other werewolves should have either been daunting or exhilarating, but when he woke up on the mid-moon day, Seth just felt weary. Roman was at home with his family, but Dean and Becky had agreed to stay in the nearby town, though he sensed hesitance from both of them. When he asked Becky, however, she simply said, "I trust you. I don't trust them."

"Don't let what Maggie said get to you. I'd be new blood if I joined. A shiny new toy. That's the only reason she would be interested." Seth held her close and sighed. The farm wasn't far, but he should have been on the road already. He just didn't feel right about leaving Becky behind when things were so unsettled between them. He could feel the restless energy roiling in her gut and wanted to put her at ease. "If you have something you want to say, just say it. Please. I'd rather get everything out in the open before I go."

"I don't want to hold you back." It took him a moment to realize that she wasn't talking about the run. "If you have a chance to have a proper pack with people who can help you learn more about what you are and. . . ." Her cheeks went bright pink and she turned away as tears filled her eyes. "And if you can have a girlfriend that you don't have to worry about, then—"

Seth cut her off with a kiss. "It took me six years to get this one. If you think I'm trading you in already, you don't know me very well."

He'd hoped the quip would at least make Becky smile, but it just seemed to deepen the sorrow in her eyes. "You can say that now, but you don't what you're missing. You don't know what it's like to be around other werewolves." Her lips twitched as she added, "You don't know what it's like to have sex with a werewolf. I do. I'm qualified to tell you it's really good, so I . . . I would understand if you wanted to try—"

"I don't." It wasn't entirely true, of course. As a teenage boy learning how to cope with turning into a werewolf, naturally his thoughts had wandered to sex. Even as an adult he had wondered. As long as he was with Becky, though, he had no plans to answer that particular question. "I want you. You, okay? Not Maggie or Hayden or Vida or any of them. It doesn't matter that they're werewolves. What matters is that they aren't you."

But even that impassioned plea didn't make much of a dent. "That's how you feel right now, Seth, but things will be different when everyone's naked and you've just had a good run and there's all that energy. I'm just saying that if you . . . if you do, I'll understand."

"And I want you to understand that I won't. Becky, please." Cupping her face in his hands, trying to ignore the scars he had made, Seth held her gaze. "Nothing's going to happen."

Dean, naturally, picked that exact moment to bring Seth's supply bag to the car. "Two sets of clothes, some towels, water, wipes, burner phone."

"Thanks, man. Becky, can you give us a minute?" Seth asked. Becky nodded mutely, heading back into the hotel, and Seth watched her until her bright hair had disappeared around a corner. "I don't know what to say to her to convince her I'm not signing up for an orgy."

"I'll try talking to her," Dean offered, "but I see her point. She's worried that you want to be around your own people or whatever. That being with one of them will be easier than being with her."

Seth shook his head and huffed out an exasperated breath. At this rate, he was going to need the extra run just to burn off some stress. "But I don't care about what's easier. I care about her."

"I know that. You know that. Deep down, she knows that." Then Dean shrugged. "But she also just saw three very attractive werewolves offer you a spot in their pack, so yeah, she's feeling a little insecure." He gave Seth's shoulder a friendly punch. "I'll take her out for coffee and see if we can find a dog park or something. Get her mind off things. Just call when you're back or if you need a ride."

"I will. Thanks, man." Seth gave him a quick hug and headed off before he could second-guess himself. It could very well be a trap. Maybe they were going to blackmail him for money. Maybe they needed an outsider wolf for some strange rite. He didn't know. But if he didn't try at least once, he knew he would always wonder. And that's why Becky's worried, his inner voice declared. It wasn't a huge stretch of logic to go from friendly romp to casual sex, not with all the variables in play: naked bodies, adrenaline pumping, energy to spare.

Seth spent most of the short drive trying to think of ways to convince Becky that any interest he had in running with a pack was purely academic, but everything that came to mind sounded flat. It wasn't a simple case of Actions speak louder than words either. Maybe Roman will have some advice, he hoped as he pulled up to the large farm.

He had been expecting ramshackle buildings and dilapidated fences, but the pack had clearly invested in the land's security features. The fence and gate were made of reinforced steel and had a speaker and security screen that would have fit in at any exclusive community. "Hi. It's Seth," he said into the speaker, feeling slightly awkward. Vida clearly had a double life—werewolf and CEO—but he wasn't sure he wanted to be Seth or Colby to these people.

"Hi. Follow the path and park anywhere on the tarmac. Everyone's out back." The laugh that spilled through the speaker didn't even sound tinny. "Clothing optional, obviously."

"Thanks." The gate opened smoothly and Seth proceeded along the winding road—paved and well kept, not ruts worn into dirt—to a parking area that his childhood community centre would have loved. The whole area looked more like a recreation complex; there were no hints of its life as a former farm that he could see, not even a token silo. Approaching naked felt a bit too bold, so Seth stayed clothed, dropping his keys in his bag and following the raucous cheers to the back of the large building.

At first glance, it looked like any loud backyard gathering—if it were being held in a nudist colony. Almost everyone was already stripped down, though a few were still in their underwear or swimsuits. A large above-ground pool was almost eclipsed by splashes of water, and half the generous patio had been turned into an outdoor kitchen. Two people were at the industrial-sized barbecue, and Seth could see at least four picnic tables laden with food. "Seth!" Vida was smiling as she strode over, naked except for a breezy robe that wouldn't have been out of place at a beach resort. Even though the temperature was starting to dip, no one seemed cold in the least. "I'm so glad you decided to come." She eyed his t-shirt and jeans with a hint of amusement. "You don't have to run if you don't want to. No pressure. But I do hope you'll listen to some of our stories before you decide whether you want to join."

Seth nodded slowly. "I'll hear you out, yeah. I'm not sure a pack life is for me, though. I'm on the road so much. . . ." It was an excuse and he knew it, but he didn't want these people thinking he was automatically joining them just because he had shown up.

"That's fine. There are people here who joined years after we first met them. Some werewolves need more time than others to really feel that draw of a pack." Vida gestured around at the large crowd; Seth hadn't expected quite so many people. "We're from all walks of life. You know where I work. We also have teachers, therapists, sex workers, doctors, musicians, everything. Lots of athletes too, even if just in the casual sense." Vida smiled at him. "I'm sure you've discovered that working out is a good way to keep the wolf at bay if you're not able to shift."

"Yeah. It was one of the few things that helped me as a kid," Seth admitted. Pushing his body to its limits must have mimicked a transformation.

"Hayden called and said he'll be a bit late; he's a translator and he's working on a deportation case. But Maggie and I will show you around." Just as Vida said her name, Maggie dashed over. Unlike Vida, she was one who had opted for full nudity, and Seth made a point of not looking any lower than her shoulders. "C'mon, Mags. Let's introduce the guest of honour."

"Can't wait." Maggie looped her arm through his and pressed close. "You're going to have such a great night, I promise."

Seth expected Vida to reprimand her, but the tall woman was already moving through the crowd to a small stage area. He caught a few looks of surprised recognition—a consequence he hadn't really considered before accepting the offer—as Maggie led him up to the front. As Seth climbed the stairs to the stage, he felt nervous on a scale unlike anything any pay-per-view had evoked in him, and he had never missed Becky or The Shield more.