Demon King and Hero

Volume 9 Chapter 3

No, rather, was about to.

"Oi, if you're staking your own name, then that means you're invading with your own forces."

The demon god said, cocking her head. That was true. To invade while staking the demon king's own name meant that said demon king would be using his direct followers, i.e. the soldiers under Greed's command, to invade the human world.

"But, by your followers, aren't they the ones running Internal Affairs?"

A ? appeared on top of everyone's heads.

Internal Affairs.

In the human world, you'd think of a place filled some bespectacled, cocky looking things, really good at studying, that were, more likely than not, a Mom's friend's son(1) type, and their strength was not something to be taken likely. But all they held was authority, and financial weight, not military power.

Even if they were demons, a hundred years of holding nothing but pens and documents would leave them easy pickings for mere high quality knights.

But the demon king held his confident face and shouted,

"Ha! Conquest through might is already outdated! After I bring over all my staff over and plant them here and there, I will seize the money and authority! Mere humans, compared to the history of thousands of years in Internal Affairs' workplace hell, it's just another day at the office! From there, we just have to turn the kingdoms and empires against each other, turn enemies of kings and nobles, ostracize the commoners and the nobles! And so, by simply throwing money around, I can destroy the world!"

For the first time in a while, the demon king evilly grinned like the demon king that he was. But the hero only sighed and said,

"No, your logic is sound. If you destroy the world, then I need to come forth... But, you forgot the most important thing..."

"What?"

"If you seize power behind the humans' backs... You should know that I have nothing but my sword?"

The demon king tilted his head slightly. He did make an excuse to fight. But, she said she couldn't. Outside of swords...

"Ah..."

The hero's alchemy(cooking) came to mind.

The hero's cleaning came to mind.

The hero's...

The hero's...

Reminded of the scores of past memories, the demon king despaired again.

"The hero... There's no way the hero can respond to that kind of plot!"

"Well, that's the case. That's not a job for a hero, but administrators."

Looking at the hero shrugging her shoulders oh-so casually, the demon king despaired.

"How could it, my, my trump card!"

"All down the drain."

At the hero's chic reply, with both hands quivering, the demon king asked,

"Th, then rather than destruction, should I conquer the world for you?"

The demon king had completely lost it. But at his utterly random reply, the hero, surprisingly, had a curious expression on her face.

"Hm... Then it might be doable? Want to start with the empire?"

"R, really? Th, the empire... Maybe in about half a year..."

"Yep, first conquer the empire, then the surrounding nations..."

Like a demon would seduce a human, the hero was seducing the demon king to conquer the world!

-The hero shouldn't tell the demon king to conquer the world!

"Ah, ah!"

"Tch."

As everyone else present shouted, the demon king finally came to his senses, and the hero clicked her teeth as if someone had thrown ashes into freshly cooked rice.(2)

"I, I... 've been had by the hero. Th, then I just need to go about world domination, right?"

-Don't bullshit even after coming to your senses!

No, maybe he wasn't completely sensible again just yet.

Looking on the hero that looked genuinely sorrowful and the demon king that couldn't stand still, the Pope was wondering whether he would have to shift the clergy's base of operations as far away from the empire as possible or not, when an idea came to him, and he shouted,

"Demon king, there's a perfect plan! The hero's family! Use the Ashrien house as hostages to-guaeek!"

"You lay your hands on them, that's it. Understand, demon king?"

Looking at the hero, smiling brightly while beating the crap out of the Pope, the demon king nodded.

"I'm not that evil, either."

"Ah, aaah! M, my lady goddess! Y, your servant is being beaten right in front of your eyes! S, save me!"

"It will all disappear afterwards when the hero prays. It's alright, so be beaten."

"I, I'll vanish before then!"

And a very long time...

"A, am I getting hit for a really long time?!"

Anyway a long time passed. Having jammed the Pope in a corner like burnable trash, the hero sighed and looked at the demon king.

"Demon king."

"Y, yes?"

How would you put it, the hero's suddenly mature gaze made goosebumps break out all over his flesh, but he didn't dare say that out loud.

Looking at him, the hero smirked and said,

"I said it earlier, but I don't like you enough to marry you."

"Y, yes."

Some kill-confirming statement flew his way, but the demon king's instincts told him to stand tight.

"But you know... I don't really hate you either."

"Th, that means?"

As the demon king perked up at a brief glimmer of hope, the hero laughed and said,

"Yes, let's start from [friends.]"

End of Chapter 9

Author's Notes:

And so they end as friends.

Next chapter is the epilogue.... Eh?

Translator's Notes:

(1) Mom's friend's son/daughter. An archtype of IRL Mary Sues. Usually synonymous with the line(s) 'your mom's friend's son/daughter's done/is [such and such] so why are you so [optional expletive] useless/crap/other-comparisons-here.' The type's so good at just about everything that inevitably everyone around them will be compared to them.

(2) A Korean idiom that describes something that gets ruined just before it comes to fruition.

Note that there was originally a side story after chapter 8-6 that spoiled the end quite hard. As a result, the next few chapters will be the side story and the Lunar New Year special that were meant to come up earlier, the epilogue, christmas special and the afterword, in that order.

Also, some comments from the raws:

-Oi author, whaddaya mean epilogue!

-This guy... For fuck's sake...

-Start from friends... I've heard this line before lol

-Eh?!?!?!?!?!?!

-+1 vote for 'the fuck is this' award

-I'm off, I have a date on Christmas hehe (Note: Was originally published on Christmas Eve, also die riajuu/normalfags)