Remus was excited. It was Christmas but not only that made it a special day. Today was also the day where he finally told Sirius that he was hopelessly in love with him.
He had Sirius' present in one hand; a dog tag necklace with a wolf charm upon it, for obvious reasons. He knew that Sirius probably hadn't gotten him anything but Remus still wanted to make Sirius' day just that little bit more special.
Remus furthermore knew that Sirius would be down in the common room waiting for him so with one last look in the mirror, he made his way downstairs to meet the only love of his life.
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A lone tear trickled down Remus' cheek. He stared in silence as he watched his best friend and almost lover kissing Marlene McKinnon. Marlene Mckinnon, who Sirius had sworn was just a friend and he'd never have anything to do with, seemed to be immensely enjoying the kiss.
A choked sob escaped his lips which caused Sirius to turn around quickly. A few moments passed before many continuously changing flickers of emotion appeared in quick succession upon Sirius' face. Starting with shock, then sympathy, then horror before finally landing on an utter look of remorse.
"Remus I--" Sirius stuttered out before being cut off by a livid and languishing Remus Lupin.
"No, don't even try to apologise Black" Remus somehow managed to spit out through his tears.
Remus fled from the Gryffindor common room, tears blinding him as he made his way to the only place he was ever safe from everyone; the shrieking shack.
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Sirius didn't know what to do. He was confused. He was angry. He was sorrowful. Why did Remus react that way? Its not as if Remus had ever insinuated to Sirius that he felt that way towards him. Sirius had made it clear of his feelings for Remus but he had never returned them so why did he act like that?
Whilst lost in thought he didn't realise James Potter and Peter Pettigrew enter the common room cautiously as though not to disturb his thinking process.
"Mate, sorry to disturb you from what looks to be a deep thought which doesn't happen very often in your case, but we thought we'd come to find you after we saw Moony running from this direction, he didn't look like he was having a good Christmas that's for sure." said James trying to diffuse the tension but as usual, not making things any better.
"Did you see where he was going? Was he alone? Was he crying?" Sirius replied with an overpowering sense of urgency after being knocked out of his trance.
"Padfoot chill, I know you're worried about him but you don't have to get so worked up about it. We think he was heading towards the shrieking shack or in that general direction. After all, that is his typical hiding place when he is upset." James said trying to keep Sirius calm.
"I need to find him, I need to tell him something!" Sirius said, more distressed now.
"It's alright mate, we'll come with you" Peter reassuringly said.
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Remus sat in the shrieking shack, curled up in a ball; his knees pressed against his chest.
"How could I have let my guard down like that?" He thought sadly to himself.
He wished he could hate Sirius, more than anything he wanted to despise him so he's never have to feel anymore heartbreak. He wished that he had never spent all those nights with Sirius crying over his lifelong condition as Sirius comforted him, saying all the right things. He wished Sirius' actions didn't affect him so.
At least Remus knew the truth now, nothing Sirius had ever said had meant anything.
Remus had just mistook Sirius' kindness for love.
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Authors Note;
well first chapter is up now, this was meant to just be a oneshot but then I thought of some new ideas.
{Charlotte}
