Holland

Actually

Turned out, my worries were just nothing. You already had a girlfriend, and I was sure you had forgotten all about me. Your current girlfriend at the time was your long term on and off girlfriend since you were in the middle school. Way long before I even noticed you. It was good knowing you had a girlfriend.

After two or three months of being in the same class with you. We were normal, as if we never had anything before this. It was good, I thought. We were even friends. Close friends even.

We sort of formed a clique, Hatina, I, you, and one other guy, Winston. We rocked. I was happy, being friends with you, even though there were moments that I felt like I liked you more than a friend should.

Every time the feeling arose, I would push it down, and buried it deep. It was how I would spend the rest of my year in high school, be your lovely best friend.

-

It was great for awhile, I was not in love with you that much so it never hurt to see you with other girl. It was okay, I loved the attention you gave me as your friend, because we acted a little tiny bit more than friends. We listened to music together, left earphone in your left ear, right earphone in my right ear. It was great. I knew even in that moment, I was sort of borrowing another girl's boyfriend. But I told myself, you were the one who made the first move, I never suggested myself, so it was not my fault, I convinced myself.

You acted that way with Hatina too, so what's the harm?

But then I noticed, you acted more friendly toward her. You actually liked her, and I was afraid that Hatina actually liked you too. 

Please, not her. Anyone but her! Damn.

It was like watching you cheat with your girlfriend with her. Hatina did not talk to me about you, but I knew that deep down she liked you.

Then one day, you and your girlfriend broke up. I did not know why and how.

All I know was, at that point you stopped being friends with us too. You pull yourself away from me, Hatina, and Winston.

I tried. Believe me, I tried to talk to you in many occasions. I was disappointed and a little bit hurt to be honest, to lose you as a friend.

There was nothing we could do, Winston, Hatina, and I, we tried. I knew Hatina knew a little bit of why you pulled away from us, but she did not tell Winston and I. 

We decided to just move on, and just had you as our class mate.