Bruises on the Fruit

Chapter Six

By the time I got to the phone box, I could no longer contain myself. My chest heaved as I sobbed. I could barely see as I punched in the numbers.

"J-j-jasmine? W-what's wrong?"

'Don't bother coming back', Mum had said. I wondered if she really meant it. So I'd called Dick. His Volvo pulled up onto the kerb ten minutes later. I'd managed to calm myself a little, but silent tears fell down my face and I had to fold my arms and tuck my hands under them to keep them from shaking. In the car, I said nothing.

"I kn-know you d-d-don't like m-me," said Dick finally. He had just pulled up outside the house. "B-but you can t-t-talk to m-me, i-if you w-want to." How could I possibly explain it to Dick? I wanted to have sex with a boy but I was too cowardly? Also his brother sang my favourite song and I started to wonder if... never mind. It was all over now.

"I d-don't want M-mum to s-see," I sobbed, pointing vaguely at my face. So Dick sat with me in silence until I was ready to go inside. My face must have been red and blotchy, as Mum was immediately concerned. I couldn't face her, so I walked past her and up the stairs without saying anything.

I sat in the bath with my knees hunched up and my arms around my waist. The water was cold and the tips of my fingers were wrinkled. The party kept replaying itself over and over in my mind. It was all my fault. If I'd just gone with Nisha. Or if I'd not gone into Ty's room and asked him to play for me. Or if I'd not gone into Zed's room. Or if I'd gone into Zed's room and not chickened out.

Why didn't he stop?

And his stupid brother saw me running away. Looking at me with his stupid face. Singing to me with his stupid voice. Who does Ty think he is anyway, warning me about his own brother? Who does that? And playing my favourite song! I'm so stupid. I should have walked away, gone straight to Zed. I felt safe with Zed.

Why didn't he stop?

He wouldn't even get rid of Terry bloody Jenkins. Called me his girlfriend, but wouldn't get rid of Terry. Twat. Not Zed, Terry. Terry's a twat. Why wouldn't he get rid of him?
I said no, didn't I? I thought no, but did I say it out loud? I'm sure I did. So why didn't he stop?

March 4th, 1996

Walk. Just walk. Don't look at them. You don't see them. You don't hear them.

But I did hear them. I heard their stifled laughter. Saw them whisper to each other while giving me sideways glances. It was my first day back at school since I'd been suspended, and the whole day had been the same. People staring. People whispering. People laughing.

I'd sat in my usual seat in Geography and waited for Nisha, but she'd looked at me, looked at the empty chair, and walked away. She'd sat with Sally Smith instead. Sally Smith, of all people! She didn't even like Sally Smith!

Then, at lunch, I'd gone to sit with Lex, but she'd looked around awkwardly and muttered something about having to be somewhere. I knew why Nisha wasn't talking to me, but Lex? Why Lex? I'd wanted to talk to her, tell her what happened. I just wanted to talk to someone.

As I approached the school gates I saw a familiar figure dressed in black, guitar slung over his shoulder. He turned, brushing his long hair away from his eyes. Green eyes. It was the first time I'd noticed them. Something in my chest fluttered and swelled.

"Can we talk?" asked Ty. I gestured toward the park entrance across the road. As we walked he said, apologetically, "I hope this isn't weird."

"It is a bit weird," I replied. He looked at the floor and I added quickly, "I don't mind! I like weird!" I like weird? Who says that?

"I just... I wanted to... Are you ok?" he asked. I stopped. I couldn't talk about this. Especially not to Ty. "You don't have to tell me anything, not if you don't want to," he reassured, "I wanted to see y-- to see if you were ok." He wants to see me.

"He's your brother," I said.

"I know... did he hurt you?"

"No," I said, but my shudder betrayed me. "Not really. He wanted to... he tried... I wasn't ready..."

"It's ok," said Ty. "Have you told anyone?"

"They wouldn't believe me."

"I believe you." We walked on in silence for a while. The park was bright. Every shade of green surrounded us. The laughter of children and the singing of birds echoed.

"I wrote a song," he said, "Can I play it for you?"

"Yes!" Jesus, Jaz, be cool. "I mean, sure. Sounds good."

We sat under the shade of a massive oak tree. He placed the guitar softly across his lap, turned the plectrum over and over in his hand. I waited. He looked at the floor, then looked at me. I smiled. He began to play a gentle melody that somehow sounded like kindness, pain, fear and love all at once. He sang softly.

"Go now, chase the dreams only you know, don't give yourself away..." Somehow I knew instinctively that he meant every word.

"It's beautiful," I gasped, when he stopped playing. "You really wrote that?" His cheeks coloured a little.

"Yeah. You really like it?"

"It's beautiful." I repeated. There was a long pause. The trees swayed wistfully in the breeze.

"He's a drug dealer," he blurted out at last. I took a moment to let the words sink in.

"Zed?"

"Keith Jenkins. That's why I recognised him. He's Zed's dealer." Then he just started telling me all this stuff. It came pouring out of him like he'd been holding it in forever. His Mum had died when he was 14. Huntington's disease. I made a mental note to find out what Huntington's disease was. About a year later his Dad had upped and left. Couldn't cope. Zed was already smoking weed by then, and had dabbled in a few other drugs. That's when he'd got involved with Keith. Steve, too. Every week a new item of furniture would be missing from the house and, if they were lucky, replaced with something threadbare that Zed had found at the tip. But lately that had stopped. There wasn't really anything left to sell. Even his Mum's wedding ring had mysteriously disappeared. Ty suspected Zed was working for Keith in some way. Zed had been acting weird, more so than usual, and Terry had been round a lot. Ty was sure that Terry himself didn't scare Zed, but he acted as his father's eyes and ears. Everything Terry saw or heard went straight back to Keith. Keith, it seemed, had taken a special interest in Zed.

"We should talk to him," I said.

"To Zed?" Ty scoffed. "Are you mad? He's not going to tell you anything. Anyway, do you really want to talk to him right now?" Of course I didn't. The thought of even seeing him made my insides freeze.

"We should follow him," said Ty eventually. "Every Sunday, Tuesday and Wednesday night, without fail, he goes out at six, comes home at ten. On the dot. We should follow him and find out what he's up to."

"Why are you helping me?" I asked. Ty shrugged.

"Why not?"

"Mostly because Zed is your brother and this could land him in all kinds of shit."

"Look, I have reasons, okay? Let's just leave it at that. Meet me back here tomorrow, same time."

Author's Note:

Thank you so much for reading chapter six of Bruises on the Fruit. I would love to hear what you think! How do you feel about the story so far? Why do you think Lex isn't talking to Jaz? How do you feel about Ty's revelations about Zed and Keith? Do you think following Zed is a good idea?