I Promise

30 1 0

by tsukicreatez

by tsukicreatez

Even after death, Erwin Smith is everything to Levi Ackerman. Erwin always gave Levi a chance. Levi. A street rat. A thug. Erwin couldn't have cared less. Erwin let Levi join the survey corps. He didn't hate Levi. Even when Levi wanted him dead. Even when Levi blamed him for the death of Isabel and Farlan. Even when Levi disobeyed orders to risk his life for others. Erwin called him idiotic, bu never hated him for it. Levi didn't think he would ever be able to show love again. Everyone he loved was just going to die, right? Why put in the effort?

Erwin changed him. Erwin showed him it was okay to love. He showed him to not let fear get in the way of love. Levi took those words and followed them. He followed them by letting himself love Erwin. Nobody had ever loved Levi the way Erwin did. Kindly, gently, carefully, passionately, and unconditionally. Levi received this love and gladly gave it back in return. Levi didn't know what to do without Erwin. Now that Erwin was gone, he definitely didn't know what to do.

When Erwin lost his arm, Levi was just grateful that he wasn't dead. Levi could not lose him. He was everything to him. Levi couldn't afford to lose him. Now, he thinks about the conversation they had.

"You're not dead." Levi had said to him.

"Nope. Not yet." Erwin had responded.

Those words hit Levi the wrong way.
"Not ever. You can't die."

"I mean eventually I do-"
"No. Not without me..."

Erwin stared at Levi. He looked at him and realized how much he really meant to him.
"You can't die without me either."

"I won't."

"You promise?"

"I do if you do."

"I promise."

They sealed that promise with a kiss.

When Levi was faced with the decision to save Erwin or Armin it seemed simple. Of course he would save Erwin. Why wouldn't he? Of course he would save him no matter how much Eren and Mikasa tried to intervene........no....Levi knew how it felt to lose your friends. He wouldn't wish that feeling upon anybody. That feeling of grief, emptiness and grief. The feeling of never being able to love again. He had lost people before. How much would one more person really affect him?

"He's dead." Those words kept ringing through his head. He felt numb. Every moment they had together ran through his head. Every word they said to each other. Every 'I love you". Every kiss. Every time they made love. His touch. His smell. His taste. His large hands through his raven hair. His lips on his body. His love surged through him. "I promise" ran through his head.

Was it worth it? Levi didn't know. He wanted to say it wasn't, but that felt selfish. He now laid in Erwin's bed. Remembering him. Remembering his best friend, his lover, the man who taught him how to love again. For the first time in a long time. He cried. He wanted Erwin to be next to him again. He wanted to hug him and kiss him and he wanted Erwin to tell him it would all be okay.

Even after death, Erwin Smith is everything to Levi Ackerman. Erwin always gave Levi a chance. Levi. A street rat. A thug. Erwin couldn't have cared less. Erwin loved him. He cherished every moment they had together. Levi didn't think anyone could love him. Erwin showed him that he was worthy and deserving of love. Now Levi let tears run down his cheeks as he mourned. How could he love again? Everyone he loved died, right?

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The song I put is the song I listened to while writing this. I had forgotten about this ship for a long time and I remembered it out of nowhere and now I can't stop thinking about them. They're sort of a comfort ship for me I guess? They mean a lot to me.