Overstimulated

Oblivion (Creation)

Poems by Rupi Kaur from The Sun and Her flower & Milk and Honey

Aurora gnawed at her lip worriedly as she stared at the grey building and its dozens of windows from the seat in her car a safe distance away; as if the facility could smell fear and point out her cowardice. She wiped the sweat that had gathered on her neck from sitting in the hot car contemplating skipping her tour of the gym for the last twelve minutes. She still hasn't made an effort to move, sweat be damned. All of the fire in her soul she'd had when she left her apartment to make the trek down to the West L.A. area has completely died down, fear replacing it like a cold tentacle wrapping around her mind. Aurora sighed and pulled out her phone with the intent of calling Mara back and canceling when it began to ring in her hand.

Jade always knew when she needed her, even when she wasn't there.

"Jade," Ari greeted, ashamed of how small her voice was.

"Heeeeyyyy biiiiitchh!" Jade bellowed, chasing away the negative clouds hanging above her and forcing a small laugh out of Ari despite her anxiousness. "Wassup?"

"Nothing," Aurora sighed, knowing she'd have to tell the truth. "I just pulled up to Krav Maga class. I'm waiting for my appointment."

Jade hummed into the phone, tone showing she knew her best friend was leaving out key details.

"Mmm, you sitting in the car talking yaself out of it aren't you?"

Aurora rolled her eyes toward the ceiling of her Dart. 

"How do you always know ?"

"Cause we bestfraaans, sis," Jade bragged, making Ari feel even more like a coward hearing the pride in her friend's voice. Ari really felt that she didn't deserve her friend's love sometimes. "What's wrong?"

Ari chuckled mirthlessly and glanced back at the facility. 

"I'm not sure I should do this, J."

She heard Jade smack her lips lowly. 

"Ari, you got this bitch. All that doubt and fear is all in your head. Shake that shit off girl, you better than that."

"I know I know," Aurora sighed, taking her key out of the ignition and playing with her keyfob. She had less than three minutes until her tour was scheduled. "I got this," she huffed without feeling it.

"So get ya ass out the car and go kick some ass! Or Imma come over there and kick yours!"

Aurora smiled genuinely this time and opened the car door to the hot afternoon heat. 

"Okay, damn! I'll call you when I'm done?"

"You better!"

Ari hung up, put the phone in the pocket of her joggers, and straightening her back. She still wasn't fully confident but she was here and she was going to see this through. She was really tired of fear ruling her life.

"Come on, bitch," she whispered to herself as she took long strides towards the door, a hand over her face to shield herself from the merciless sunshine that stretched what felt like infinitely across the sweltering parking lot.

Aurora swung the heavy door open and stumbled into the facility on clumsy feet, her cheeks heating up when a few heads turned towards the slight commotion she'd caused. She fought the urge to cover her face and walked over to the reception desk, her head not quite as high as it was a few moments ago.

"Good morning," the gentleman - Stephan if his name tag was correct - greeted her with a wide smile when she reached the desk. His tawny skin and brown cropped hair shone in the light emitting from the floor-to-ceiling windows and his demeanor was friendly but professional. "What brings you in today?"