lately i've felt like no matter what i put my effort into it's never enough, everything i try to do isn't good enough because someone else is just better or more appealing. today i had to provide a short speech on why i want to be an officer for D4 4H teen council. there were 5 candidates looking to fill the 4 postions for next year and of those 5 people i was the one who didn't make it. i ignored the growing feelings inside of me. i told others that all the other candidates were going to be seniors and i still have another year and that it's all okay, but the truth is i felt like something is wrong with me. why does stuff like this always happen? why am i the unlucky one? instead of letting the thoughts eat me up though, i decided to eat them first. i sat there, took them in, and i let myself cry. then i remembered that right before i told my speech i heard something say that it's not my position to fill this year, that i have something that is more important for me to fulfill, that it's not me who's not good enough, and that eventually my hard work will pay off. i feel better now and i'm ready for the next blow. eat your thoughts.
