Dancing With Bullets

Goodbye

I stood with my bags at my feet by the front door in the foyer. My mother embraced me tight as if i would slip away like dust through her fingers. The touch soon left me as she pulled away, a handkerchief in her hand as she padded away the tears from her beautiful face framed with L/S, H/C locks of hair. My father was the next to bring my close as he said proudly,

"I never thought my little girl would follow in my foot steps." His embrace only lasted a few meager moments before he pulled back to examine me. I sad yet confident smile graced my lips. My hair shimmered in the light flooding through the tall window just above the front door. There was total silence as we each regarded one another with one last unspoken goodbye. 

Where was i going? One might ponder as i was being sent off with plentiful farewells. I was going to war to fight for Red Horizons Coalition, the new, self-declared protector of this country. The RHC had long sought out the Red Army as nothing more than an enemy and a force to be eradicated. So now i was going to honor the cause by becoming a soldier.

Why? Another will queer. My answer is simple and curt,

I want to die.

"Really, have you got nothing better to do with yourself?"  I've heard that remark too many times. That's why not even my parents know of my true intentions. I've been shamed by teachers, "adults," other kids, even people who i dared to call friends. Besides, i'm too much of a coward to close the curtains on myself. I'd rather have someone do it for me, so what better way to get it done than by joining the other dying soldiers on the front line? At least i'll be able to keep my dignity that way.

Now...what's my reason for this type of thinking? All I've got to say is that life ain't an easy road to travel. And love will be one of those obstacles that you either don't care about or it shatters your entire reality. All around me during my high school years was the constant chatter of "soulmates" and those "destined for each other." I never believed in that fairy tale crap of how soulmates can't harm one another physically. Maybe it's because nothing good came out of the love that i encountered. So i just stop believing in love all together.

There was a particularly loud and stern knock on the door behind me. I flashed my parents one last, grateful smile as my father spoke up,

"Better not keep those soldiers waiting." He was grinning, sorrow dancing behind those E/C eyes of his. I nodded and turned on my heel to face the front door, letting my hand tightly grip the doorknob. As i swung the door open i was greeted by a surge of sunlight, blinding me so suddenly. I squinted, letting my eyes focus on the man standing before me in black and grey camo fatigues and a clip propped on his forearm.

"L/N, F/N?" He asked, glancing up momentarily from the clip board as if to check if this was really me. I gave a firm nod,

"yes sir."

"Good, come along now." What the man said triggered my mother to break out into a fit of sobbing. Tears cascaded relentlessly down her face as i crouched down and lifted my luggage  with both hands. I looked back and smiled softly, 'thankyou..' i said in my head but what came out was,

"i love you.." And so i started off towards the truck resting in the gravel driveway of our little farm. I took my first steps into the crisp morning air. The drive to the base would be a lengthy one, but i was prepared all i needed to be. The second soldier motioned for me to climb into the back of the truck. I tossed my suitcase in, then my duffel bag, before clambering in myself and taking a seat. Soon enough the rumble of the engine signaled the beginning of my journey towards the battlefield. I peered between the fabric flaps, watching as both my parents waved a frantic last farewell. The gravel crunched under the wheels of the truck as we trundled away. After a while all i could see of my parents were specks before we took a turn around a thicket of trees, hiding my home from view. I sat back and closed my eyes, steadying my breath and wondering what will come next.

'Goodbye mum..dad..may we meet again at the gates of Heaven.'