TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️: mention of suicide and depression
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Cina's point of view
We all stare at Seonghwa as he rolls his eyes.
Seonghwa: My parents were workaholics but some how they always made sure I didn't feel second to their job. It'll be times where they missed ceremonies, or birthdays from being out of town but they made it up to me.
I smile.
Seonghwa: But the thing is even with depression no matter how much love someone gives you, you still feel useless. I felt that way a lot growing up. There was never a reason why, I would wake up most days and wish I hadn't.
He sighs.
Seonghwa: When I was seventeen one day I woke up like everything was normal. Had breakfast with my parents, watered the garden with my mom, played golf with my dad, a good day.
His face goes completely blank, void of any emotion.
Seonghwa: After spending time with them I went to my room and wrote a very long detailed note, my suicide note.
Everyone's eyes widen.
Seonghwa: I was completely prepared, I even left the suit I wanted to be buried in on my bed.
A cold chill runs down my spine.
Seonghwa: I wanted it all to end, I needed it to end. I took over twenty different pills that day. The person who found my body was Yeosang.
I glance over at Yeosang and his face is blank as well, he's staring into the fire.
Seonghwa: Apparently he was coming to check on me because he said for the past few days I wasn't myself, how he'd know that? I have no clue, I was doing the perfect acting job. I woke up in the hospital two days later. Yeosang and Hongjoong both were in my room when I opened my eyes.
Their bond is much more deeper than I thought.
Seonghwa: That day I was ready to accept death, i initiated it. However when I woke up a small part of me was happy I didn't die, a very small part. I'd say five percent out of one hundred.
I don't realize I'm crying until something wet falls on my arm.
Seonghwa: Hongjoong and Yeosang stayed at my house for a month watching me. We were silent that whole month, they respected my boundaries. As I said, five percent out of one hundred wanted to live. That five percent was stronger than I thought. That's why I'm here today.
Hongjoong holds Char as she begins to cry, Seonghwa smiles slightly.
Seonghwa: Don't cry Char, I'm in a much better place now.
He looks at Yeosang and I making me smile.
San: I'm happy to be friends with people as strong as you guys.
Me: You're strong too San, you've been through a lot.
He nods.
San: My childhood was a nightmare, but you guys already knew that.
I nod.
San: My mother was very manipulative and with me being so young my mind was weak. I fed into whatever she told me, and did whatever she wanted. That made me neglect my big sister.
Giselle sighs, rubbing his shoulder comfortingly.
San: My mom was like a dictator over our house, and with my dad working so hard he was never around. Love was something I never understood because I never felt it as a child. My mom often preached about me being a hard working successful husband but never taught me to be a good loyal husband.
He glances at Saelee.
San: But thankful due to you guys busting my balls on a regular basis, I know how now.
Santana chuckles.
Me: Sauni? Care to share?
Yuta fights the urge to rolls his eyes.
Sauni: Uh, sure.
She scratches her head unsure what to say.
Sauni: As some of you may know I came here originally on the search for Seonghwa's dad because I believed he was my real dad. On an unrelated note I met Wooyoung, he was so kind and gentle.
Woo smiles.
Sauni: I told him the situation and he helped me find Seonghwa.
Come again?
Seonghwa: You're the one who told her where we lived?
Wooyoung chuckles before nodding.
Sauni: I never meant to disturb your family, but ever since I could remember my mom was sick. I spent most of my childhood helping take care of her. I had her and she had me, no other family.
I frown.
Sauni: We struggled with money a lot, but she managed to put me through school. Whenever I felt like dropping out I just thought of all the sacrifices she made and didn't want them to be in vain. When my mother died it felt like my soul was ripped out of my body.
She plays with the necklace dangling from her neck.
Sauni: Back in college I met a guy who was amazing. He treated me like every disney princess ever.
Char: Like Snow White and Rapunzel!
Sauni smiles.
Sauni: Exactly.
Changkyun: He locked you in a tower for eighteen years?
Santana stomps down on his foot.
Sauni: Our relationship wasn't perfect but it was definitely special and then I ruined it. There's no excuse for what I did other than being young and dumb. He may not forgive me, and that's fine. Honestly I don't deserve his forgiveness but I want him to know I'm not that person anymore.
Yuta hums.
Me: Thank you for sharing that with us.
Sauni: Of course.
Sauni doesn't seem like a bad person. She made a huge mistake by hurting Yuta, but she shouldn't be condemned for it.
Me: Well, I guess I'll go next. I use to have cancer.
Seonghwa and Yeosang both drop their drinks.
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my mental health is being really weird. i've been trying to ignore it with writing and anime butttt yeahh
YOU ARE READING
The Kink (book 5 of the kink series)
Fanfiction"You spoiled her so much she thinks she's the one in charge." "Grab your handcuffs so we can show her she's wrong."
