Hot-Headed (Now also a podfic on spotify!)

Chapter 20

In the late morning on New Year's Day, Ochako woke up to a text notification sound from her phone.

Despite sleeping for a full eight hours, she still felt tired. Her eyes felt dry and sandy and her throat was sore.

For just a handful of blessed seconds, she lived in a world where she didn't know what had happened the night before. Then, reality came into full focus and she gasped as her chest constricted painfully.

Katsuki had told her he loved her. But she had rejected him. She still recalled the way his face had drawn in agony the moment he fell apart. It would haunt her forever she imagined.

Her eyes watered, then burned as they met the salt left on her eyelids from her tears the night before.

"Dammit," she whispered, wiping at her eyes, trying to stem the burning.

She breathed deep in an effort to calm herself and let out a shaky breath.

Her phone dinged again to notify her another text had come in.

That was right! She'd sent a text to Nate last night as she was tossing and turning in bed but the moment she'd hit 'send', sleep had finally taken her.

Ochako grabbed her phone off the side table and checked her messages.

Nate: Hi Uravity! I'm so happy to finally hear from you! I was starting to wonder if you were just being nice by taking my number and saying you'd keep in touch.

Guilt stabbed at her. She should've sent him a text or called or something ages ago. Not just when things had begun falling apart around her.

Nate: I'm so sorry to hear about what happened between you and Bakugo. If I'm to be honest, I had hoped he would tell you how he felt much sooner. And, yes, I knew he had some kind of feelings for you. It was pretty obvious after being around you two for a while. It kinda makes me feel foolish having asked you if I could have a chance with him :squiggle mouth emoji:

So even Nate knew and had figured it out in less than a week.

Did that mean Mt. Lady knew as well? Edgeshot? Kamui Woods even? Everyone at their agencies? Hawks?!

Did everyone but her know how he felt? Was she that blind?

Yes, her mind told her mercilessly, you're a complete idiot. He literally told you he didn't want to be friends but he still stuck around you and treated you like you were someone who mattered to him. And you, in all your wisdom, took that to mean he was too embarrassed to admit you were friends.

In fact, the more she looked back on his actions, the more obvious it was and the more stupid she felt to not have seen it.

Right from the start of this school year, he'd made it his mission to get her attention. He'd been the one to tell her that Deku knew about her feelings, probably because he wanted her to hate Deku for it. When he'd kissed her and she'd told him to back off, he had. When she said she had wanted to go back to how things were, he'd agreed with absolutely no struggle.

When he'd had the perfect opportunity to hurt Deku with the fact that she had thrown herself at him, he'd not only said he'd never do it, but that he was willing to pretend like it never happened to make her comfortable with their relationship again. How had she not seen it then?

He'd told her she was the exception, not the rule. He'd told her, "we can be however you want us to be." He'd been trying so hard to to tell her but couldn't just say it!

The more she thought about it, the more she hated herself and the more she saw those ruby eyes furious, devastated.

The ding telling her she had another text sounded from her phone again.